


Left Behind

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-01
Updated: 2004-11-07
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin are 8 years apart and their mothers are best friends.  So when Justin is two and his parents die in a car accident, he goes to live with the Kinneyâ€™s.  Brian protects him until his 18th birthday, when he leaves home and doesnâ€™t return for 11 years.  By the time he comes back everyone has moved on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

When a lawyer tracked Brian down and notified him of his father’s death, Brian almost refused the invitation to go back for the funeral. In the last eleven years he had separated himself as much as possible from his childhood and had zero contact with anyone from Pittsburgh. The only people he would even want to see were his old best friend Mikey and his little brother Justin. Justin wasn’t really his little brother but from the moment his mother had brought home the two-year-old child he had been his protector and playmate. They had been inseparable and Brian had taken it upon himself to teach him as much as possible. He wanted Justin to have the same chance in life as he did to escape Pittsburgh and the Kinney abuse. If Justin’s parents had known what happened in that house, they would have sent their baby boy as far away as possible.  
With Brian’s tutelage, Justin had excelled at reading and writing at a very young age. He had ingrained in him a sense of responsibility and desire to succeed. Claire had never been very attentive to Brian but he wanted to do better with Justin and he had until the day he left town. Nobody but Justin knew about his plans before the day he disappeared. Justin had cried, begging him to stay and breaking his heart in the process.   
It tore him up inside to think about what had happened to the little boy once Brian was gone. A part of him knew he should have gone back for Justin, at least once he had graduated. But by then, he was a cocky young gay man working hard at his career and his 14 year old non-brother would have only gotten in the way. By the time he had established himself it was too late and Brian feared what Justin would say. It had been so long, it was easier just to forget about the kid that he wasn’t really related to anyway. Now he was going home to a mother who never loved him, a best friend who no longer knew him, a non-brother he abandoned, and a place he swore he would never see again.

Wanting to spend as little time as possible in the Pitts, Brian flew into town right before the funeral. He had been living in New York City for the past seven years and was in the midst of planning his new ad agency. Brian hoped to make it a four-day weekend and head back to New York City by Monday afternoon. He figured that would be plenty of time to attend the funeral, take care of his father’s estate, catch up on everyone’s lives, and go home. As his rental jeep pulled up to the cemetery, Brian began to wonder who else would be there. No doubt his mother would play the grieving widow to the hilt but who else would even want to pay their respects to Jack Kinney. Brian parked near the entrance, hoping for a quick get away. He slowly approached the small crowd up near the Kinney plot and noticed the service had already started. His mother was near the head of the casket, directly to the right of the minister. Claire stood next to her, their hands clasped tightly together. Two unkempt boys, who must be her demon spawn, were close by. There were other faces he didn’t recognize, including a very pregnant blonde, a brunette woman, and a few men, all about the same age as himself.   
Finally he reached the group and was able to clearly see the last few attendants. Shock covered his face when his gaze settled on Deb and Michael Novotny. They stood on either side of a beautiful blonde man, who seemed so familiar and Brian just couldn’t figure out why until their eyes met. To Brian, it felt like all of the air had left his body. The sparkling blue eyes registered a mix emotion, starting with confusion, shock, love, and then anger. Before Brian could read much more into the look, Justin’s eyes had flicked back to the casket. Brian couldn’t believe how much Justin had grown up and was even more surprised by the obvious closeness he felt for the Novotny’s. Mikey was the next to notice his presence and reacted almost identically. Brian watched as he wrapped his arm around Justin protectively, sending Brian a silent warning to stay away.  
When the service had finally ended, Brian approached his mother first. He could feel all of the eyes on him as he walked by.

"Hello Mother, I’m sorry for your loss" Brian said as sincerely as possible.

His mother stared at him for a moment, unsure if this was really happening.

"Brian?" she asked confused.

"Yes Mother, it’s me. Dad’s lawyer tracked me down and told me what had happened. I came back to help you with all of the paperwork and the settling of dad’s possessions. I’m glad Claire was able to take care of the funeral since I couldn’t get away earlier," Brian lied.

"Oh no, it wasn’t Claire. She’s been a wonderful help to me going through all of your father’s belongings, but Justin took care of all the arrangements. He doesn’t visit much anymore but he’s always there to help out in a pinch. His best friend, the Novotny boy and his mother were wonderful at the calling hours."

"You mean MY best friend."

"No, I mean Justin’s. Those boys have been hanging out together almost every day since you went off to school. At first he was like a babysitter to Justin but that was a long time ago."

Brian looked back over in Justin’s direction and watched as he talked quietly with a small group of friends. Mikey stood closest to him, his arm still wrapped around Justin’s shoulder. A tall beefy man hung behind both of them, watching the two men with concern. He reached out and clasped hands with Mikey, obviously filling in the blank of their relationship.   
Shock could not even begin to describe the emotion Justin was experiencing. Eleven years ago his world had shattered when Brian walked out the door for good. Not only had he lost his brother but also his protector. It hadn’t taken Jack Kinney long to replace his favorite punching bag. Justin was the perfect fit for his constant rages. The first time he had been hit, Justin had nowhere to go and took off for a nearby park. Luckily Mikey had found him on his way home from the Big Q and took him home for Deb to take care of. After that night, Justin began to spend more and more time at the Novotny’s. He and Mikey would read comic books together, watch TV, and talk about super heroes. As years went by the conversations turned to boys and blowjobs over a nice supply of weed. Even with the age difference, they had become best friends. Both had needed to fill the void left by Brian and had succeeded with a little help from each other.  
Now Justin was 21, in his junior year at PIFA, and had finally gotten his life together. He and Mikey had found their own little family to replace the one Justin had been sorely lacking. Justin would be forever grateful for their support and for helping him come into his own. He had built quite the reputation on Liberty Ave and although he wasn’t adverse to relationships, Justin had never met anyone worth his time. He never cared much for strangers and mostly just went out to Babylon with Mikey, Emmett, and Ted. And if he wasn’t out with the boys, he was talking art with Lindsey. The last thing he expected today was to see Brian again. The wound he thought had closed a decade ago was suddenly open and painful. Back when he was a kid, the sun had risen and set on Brian Kinney. He never thought Brian would disappear from his life  
Justin was deep in thought when he felt Mikey’s hand on his arm. He could see the look of concern and love clearly in his eyes.

"I’m fine. I’m just surprised to see him here. Mom didn’t even mention it was a possibility when I was at the house yesterday. Plus I’m not the only one he left, how are you feeling?"

"Probably the same as you. I really don’t know how I’m feeling" Mikey replied.

"If you want to go over there and talk to him, I’d understand. He was your best friend. I’m sure you’re curious about what he’s doing now with his life."

"You’re right, he WAS my best friend back in high school but he’s not now. You are and have been for a long time now. I want to make sure you’re all right. Brian can go fuck himself for all I care."

Justin smiled, not at all surprised by Mikey’s support.

"So that’s your brother?" Lindsey asked as she came to stand next to Justin, resting her hand on the small of his back. Justin nodded his head.

"He’s hot" Emmett commented. Justin turned to look at Brian again and really took note of his appearance. Emmett was definitely right. Brian’s lean and well-toned body was covered in Armani from head to toe. His carefully styled auburn hair accentuated his deep hazel eyes. Justin wasn’t the only one who had grown up and as a man he could now appreciate Brian’s good looks that Mikey used to talk about. As a young teenager he had always found Mikey’s past obsession with his brother odd but seeing the stranger in front of him, he understood it much more. It was weird to see Brian as more of a stranger than a relative but that’s exactly what he was. The brother Justin had depended on was long gone.

"Michael, maybe we should take Justin back to the Kinney’s house in our car. Justin, do you need to stop at your place first?" Ben asked.

"No, Emmett made sure to grab everything this morning. I’m ready to go now if you are. Daphne’s flight arrived a little while ago so I want to beat her over there," Justin replied. He and Emmett had been living together since he turned 18 and moved out of the House of Hell.

"Sure, we’ll meet the rest of you over there" Michael answered.

The three men walked over to the car, leaving the rest of the small group to catch up on a little Kinney history.

"Emmett, is it true that Justin hasn’t heard from Brian in over 10 years?" Lindsey asked.

"Oh yes, Big Bad Brother Kinney left our favorite little stud high and dry to pursue money and power. He never called, never wrote, nothing at all until today. Justin didn’t even know if he was still alive. Before Michael, Brian was the closest thing Justin ever had to family. You don’t have to be related by blood to care about someone and that gorgeous morsel over there was Sunshine’s whole world. I can’t even imagine what type of mixed up emotions he must be feeling."

"Oh, my poor Justin," Lindsey exclaimed.

"Linds, you of all people know how much Justin’s behavior and attitude can occasionally piss me off but no one should have to go through all of that shit in one lifetime. He’s a good kid under all that bravado," Mel admitted.

"I know, I wouldn’t have chosen him as our baby’s father if he wasn’t" Lindsey confirmed. Justin had always been her first choice but Mel was worried about his high-risk lifestyle. Lindsey was eventually able to win her over through a lengthy list of Justin’s best physical and mental attributes. She had to admit that his obvious good looks, intelligence, and artistic ability made him the perfect candidate. They had both been surprised by his quick response. That’s when Justin had told them both about his childhood and desire to give his son or daughter a better life.   
Brian continued to watch the small group of Justin’s friends for a little while longer before turning back to his mother.

"So, how is Justin?"

"You want to know now? After disappearing for over a decade you decide it’s time to find out whatever to that poor little kid who lost both of his parents and then his big brother as well?"

"He’s not my brother," Brian shot back.

"No, he’s not but he still loved you. He was impossible to deal with once you left. Jack had to be stricter with him. Thankfully he spent most of his time over at the Novotny’s."

"What do you know about love?"

Brian could feel his blood start to boil. His worst nightmare had come true and he had just let it happen. In his rush to move on with his life, Justin had been left alone to deal with all of Jack’s abuse. He was no better than his God fearing Mother. He couldn’t stand to be in her presence a second longer and left to find his car. He needed to talk to Justin and then hide out until his flight left on Monday. This trip had been a big mistake.


	2. Left Behind

Justin was completely silent the entire drive back to the Kinney’s. He stared out the window at nothing in particular and tapped his fingers on his knees. A part of him wanted to turn the car around and hold on to Brian for the rest of his life but it was too late. He wasn’t the sweet innocent little brother anymore. He knew they would have to speak eventually but it was too much at the cemetery. Without a word to anyone, Justin headed up into his old room as soon as they arrived at his former home. Everything was the same as the day he left to live with Emmett. There were scattered photographs on the wall of him and Mikey at some comic book convention, as well as Novotny holiday celebrations. Sketchbooks were piled on his bookshelf, each one filled to capacity. Justin lightly traced the covers, before kneeling down on the floor and dragging out a box from under his bed. He carefully removed the lid and removed a stack of photographs. They were mostly shots of him and Brian; some included the rest of their fucked up little family. Claire was always smiling and Brian had Justin tucked protectively under his arm.  
Justin put the photos aside and pulled out an old torn sketchbook. Flipping through the pages, Brian’s face looked back at him. They were all casual poses, some done in childish strokes and others from memory. Without even thinking Justin turned to an empty page, grabbed a pencil, and began to sketch the look on Brian’s face when they saw each other again for the first time. Nothing else existed at that moment but Justin and his drawing.  
Brian hesitated a moment before entering his childhood home. He wasn’t sure who would be there and planned on staying only long enough to see Justin. Luck was not on his side when he opened the door and came face to face with Michael. He was leaning against the counter and talking quietly with the beefy man from the funeral and a rather dull looking man. 

“Hello Mikey, how are you?” Brian asked tentatively.

“Fine. Why are you here?”

“My father died if you haven’t noticed. Of course, I’m here” Brian snapped.

“You act like you were just here last week. It’s been eleven fucking years, if you haven’t noticed. Where the hell have you been?” Michael yelled.

“It’s none of your fucking business!”

“None of my business? Are you insane? We were best friends and then you just took off without a word. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? No, you know what, forget how I feel. What about Justin? You always said he was the one thing in your fucked up life that actually mattered. Obviously he mattered so much you had no qualms about leaving him behind to get beat up on a regular basis. You are such the model big brother.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about” Brian replied.

“You think I don’t? I’ve cleaned up Justin’s face more times then you could imagine. I’ve been the big brother you could never be. I don’t know why you came back but you better stay away from Justin.”

“And if I don’t, what are you going to do about it?”

“He won’t do anything but I will” Ben interrupted.

“And who are you?” Brian asked. 

“I’m Michael’s partner and Justin’s friend. You see, when you left town Justin was alone but now he has a whole new family. Michael might be Justin’s best friend but he’s not the only one who loves that kid. He’s got me, Ted over here, Emmett, the girls. He doesn’t need you anymore.”

“Maybe not, but I’d still like to talk to him before I go. So, if you’ll excuse me.” 

Brian pushed his way through the kitchen, shrugging off Michael’s hand. Michael tried to reach out again but Ben stopped him.

“Let him go” 

“But what if…”

“We’ve said all we can. Now it’s up to Justin what he wants to do next. You can’t protect him forever. It’s better we let them talk now so we’re all nearby if things don’t go well.”

Michael nodded his head in understanding, looking nervously in the direction Brian had disappeared. Brian avoided eye contact with everyone he passed, practically sprinting up the stairs. Justin had always considered his room his sanctuary and Brian knew that’s where he would be. He quietly approached the closed door and gently pushed it open. Justin was sitting Indian style on the floor furiously sketching in one of his books, when Brian walked in. He was concentrating so hard he hadn’t even heard the door open. Carefully Brian shut it behind him, sat directly across from Justin, and waited. He was amazed to see his own face emerging on the page. It also gave him a small bit of joy to know Justin was still drawing and creating. His technique had come along nicely with age. It wasn’t long before his baby blues looked up and froze on Brian’s face.

“Brian” he whispered.

“Hey Little Sunshine, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has.”

Brian and Justin continued to stare at one another but neither said a word. Brian’s eyes trailed up and down Justin’s body, memorizing every detail. This was certainly not the same little boy he left eleven years ago. He was surprised to find himself actually attracted to the boy he used to watch over. There was something very alluring about his deep blue eyes and full lips. Justin, on the other hand, was finding it difficult to articulate his anger and disappointment when faced with Brian’s warm gaze. He was frozen in place until Brian reached for his hand. He stood up quickly and backed away from Brian’s touch.

“No” he stated solemnly.

“Come on, Justin. Please don’t shut me out. I know I fucked up but I still care about you. I never stopped.”

“That’s such utter bullshit and you know it. You promised me you would come back and I believed you. Even when dear old dad was kicking me in the ribs for the tenth time I still thought you’d save me. Mikey kept saying you were never coming back but I didn’t believe him, not until my 18th birthday. That’s when I gave up on you and put everything that reminded me of you in this box.”

Brian reached in and picked up a few of the photos, smiling fondly at a few of them. In his hands were the only happy moments of his childhood and they only existed because of the amazing man in front of him.

“I can’t take back what I did but I do want you to understand that I never thought he would go after you” Brian tried to explain.

“How naïve can you be? Of course, he was going to turn his rage on me. You let him do it. First you let me believe that you could protect me and then you just left me to the wolves. I can’t talk to you right now, not today. Please, can we just do this tomorrow? Please” Justin begged.

Without waiting for a response, Justin headed for the door. Brian intercepted him, holding onto both of his arms. Their eyes locked on one another. They could both feel the heat rising between their bodies. Brian leaned down a little and rested his forehead against Justin’s.

“OK, I’ll find you tomorrow but I’m not leaving town until we really talk. You understand?”

Justin nodded his head slightly, his eyes focusing on the ground. His heart was beating a mile a minute. Brian let him go and Justin was out the door in a hurry. Neither of them could explain what had just happened the moment their bodies connected.

Justin practically ran right into Michael on his way out of the house. He was breathing heavily, attempting to calm himself down.

“Shit Jus, where are you going in such a hurry?” Michael asked, taking in the frazzled state of his best friend.

“I just gotta get the fuck out of here. It’s too much with all the damn mourners giving me their condolences when today should really be a celebration.”

“You sure that’s all that’s bothering you? Just tell me what it is,” Michael demanded.

“It’s nothing, really. I just have a lot of shit to deal with right now. I promise when I’m ready, we’ll talk.”

Michael didn’t look convinced but agreed anyway. Brian and Justin both had the same methods of handling pain management. He had learned to accept it and wait patiently for Justin to work through whatever was bothering him.

“OK, I’m guessing I’ll see you at Babylon tonight?” Michael asked.

“You got it,” Justin answered, lightly patting him on the back before sprinting toward the car that had just pulled up. Michael was grateful that Daphne had finally arrived. Even with the closeness Michael and Justin shared, Daphne had always been able to bring out another side to Justin’s persona. Maybe it was because Daphne and Justin had been friends almost since birth. Her parents had actually known the Taylor’s before their death, which bonded them in a way he could never understand but always appreciate. Daphne and Michael exchanged waves, while Justin jumped in the car. Then they were off.

“Who was that?” Brian asked from behind Michael, startling him.

“Daphne. Why do you care?”

“God, they’re still close? It’s nice to know some things don’t change.”

“Yeah, Justin’s been lucky to have a best friend that went away to school but always came back to visit. That’s so rare now a days,” Michael stated with a glare in Brian’s direction.

“Touché.” Brian responded and walked past Michael down the driveway. He only stopped once he had reached his car and was gripping the handle.

“I’ll be at Babylon tonight, if you want to meet me there and we can talk,” Brian suggested. Michael responded without thinking.

“I’ll already be there with Justin.”

Brian allowed a smile to grace his lips.

“Even better,” he stated and drove off. Michael was left standing on the porch and wondering what the hell just happened. Obviously there had been some sort of confrontation between Justin and Brian, which had caused Justin’s bad reaction. He could only hope that Daphne would succeed in getting Justin to open up a little. This was definitely more her territory than his.


	3. Left Behind

Daphne looked over at Justin perplexed as they drove. She had expected to be invited into the house and sit around making small talk, not taking off for parts unknown. Justin was silent for a few moments, which was very unusual for him, even under the circumstances. 

“So Jus, you gonna tell me where we’re going?” Daphne asked tentatively.

“The old house,” Justin answered simply. Daphne nodded her head in understanding. She hadn’t wanted to make any assumptions but she had been driving in that direction from the moment Justin jumped in the car and said “drive”. Daphne had grown up only a few blocks away from where the Taylor’s lived. Once the kids had gotten a little older, her parents had shown Justin the house he had spent the first two years of his life. They used to take their bikes over and just sit across the street and imagine what Justin’s life could have been like. They used to make up numerous scenarios of what a typical evening would be like. Sometimes they would even point out spots that they could have used to play hide and seek. The house had symbolized all that could have been.  
When they pulled up to the small white house with the quaint little porch, Justin stumbled out of the car and sat down on his favorite rock. The driveway was empty, which meant the family was most likely not at home. Daphne quietly sat down next to Justin and gently grabbed his hand.

“Hey Daph, see that big oak tree over there with the overhang?”

“Yeah.”

“I betcha my dad would have put in a tree swing. It’s the perfect tree for it. Then when Molly was old enough I could push her on it. She’d look up to me and I would cherish that more than anything. Then maybe we’d both run inside and she’d tell our parents how high I had pushed her.”

Since Justin’s sister had never had the chance to be born, Justin had named her Molly. It was one of his favorite names as a child.

“You would have been an amazing big brother. You always have been to me,” Daphne said softly and squeezed his fingers. Justin smiled back at her.

“Yeah, thank god for you and Mikey. Without either of you, I would have never known what it was like to have a sibling,” Justin stated sadly.

“And for at least a little while you had Brian,” Daphne replied, oblivious to Justin’s current feelings on the subject.

“Oh yeah, Brian. He was some big brother. Still is, did I forget to mention he’s back in town?”

Daphne almost fell off her rock in shock.

“What? When? Where?”

Justin chuckled, despite himself.

“One question at a time Daph. Brian was at the funeral and then came back to the house afterwards. I don’t know where he’s been because we haven’t really talked much yet. After I got over the initial shock of seeing him, I went Mom’s house and hid in my old room for a bit. He tracked me down and demanded we talk. I told him I wasn’t ready so he’s planning on finding me tomorrow to finish our talk.”

“Oh my god! What does he want?”

Justin shrugged his shoulders in response.

“He said he wanted to explain why he left me behind. He said he never thought Jack would go after me.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. He left and that’s all that matters. I’ll hear him out but that’s about it. You know the craziest thing about seeing him again?” Justin asked.

Daphne shook her head, still reeling from the fact Brian was back in town. Until he left town Daphne had always been jealous of his relationship with Justin. She was an only child and couldn’t believe how close the two boys were. Brian was always looking out for Justin and teaching him things. He was so patient when Justin didn’t understand something and really listened when he spoke. Daphne would have given anything to have someone like that in her life but then he was gone and Justin was never the same. She knew about the abuse and still couldn’t believe that the boy who had so lovingly cared for Justin would just leave him to fend for himself. And now he was back.

“Was it his assumption that he could just show up and that would make everything all better?” Daphne finally asked.

“No, thankfully he wasn’t insane enough to believe everything would be OK between us. The craziest thing was when he touched my arms and I felt a rush of heat throughout my entire body. Just looking into his eyes made me feel this intense attraction to him.”

“What?”

“I know it’s crazy but it’s just how I felt. Please don’t tell anyone, not even Mikey.”

Daphne agreed immediately. She was well aware of Michael’s past attraction to Brian and current obsession with protecting Justin. Even though Justin was now a grown man who could obviously take care of him and more, Michael still remembered the young teenage boy covered in bruises. Together they had healed the wounded boy who had become a self-assured young man with more sex appeal than anyone she had ever met.

“Hey, why don’t we go back to your place and shower for tonight. We are going to Babylon, right?”

Daphne stood up and reached a hand down to pull Justin to his feet. He smiled, following her back into the car. Tonight he could forget all about Brian Kinney and just enjoy some time with his friends. It was also time to cash in on that celebration he had been planning ever since his dad had told him about the cancer. He would never admit it out loud, but he had felt a small stab of pain when he was told. Jack Kinney had been the only father he had ever known, even if he was an abusive asshole. As they drove away, he looked back one more time at the little white house and wondered how he would have reacted to his own father’s death if he had been old enough to understand. Justin’s whole life was a big “what if”. He turned back around and watched the scenery go by on his way home.

Brian had arrived at Babylon pretty early because he didn’t want to take a chance on missing Justin. He wasn’t sure if Justin stayed out late and there was a chance Mikey had been lying to him. It blew his mind to think that his best friend was a better friend with Justin than himself. As he walked toward the bar Brian could feel the lust filled gazes watching him. He knew he looked good in his tight jeans and black sleeveless shirt, but he always enjoyed the extra affirmation. It felt good to be back at Babylon, even though he had only been sneaking in for two years before leaving town. He had quite the reputation in NYC so it was interesting to now be considered fresh meat.  
Brian quickly ordered a Jim Beam and leaned against the bar to take a better look at the crowd. There were a few interesting prospects but Brian wanted to wait until he had seen Justin and Mikey before choosing his trick for the night. Another hour or so went by and Brian began to pick up on a few murmurs at the bar.

“Hey, I’ve got goals and tonight they involve getting fucked by the Stud himself.”

“Good luck. I can’t see him going for your tired ass.”

“You’ll see, there he is.”

Brian listened on as a few other men began to talk about the supposed Stud of Liberty Ave and his arrival at the club. Brian decided it was time to get a peek at his competition. His jaw practically hit the floor when Justin and the other guys walked through the door. All eyes were on Justin as he headed to the nearest bar. His jeans were worn and fitted tightly around his assets, which included the most perfect ass he had ever seen. His blue t-shirt rode up slightly on his body, exposing his flat well toned stomach. He was every guy’s wet dream and had full control of the room.

When Justin walked through the door with Daphne and his boys all he could think about was getting completely drunk, high, and sexually satisfied. He decided to conquer the sobriety problem first and ordered a couple shots of tequila. Eddie, his favorite bartender, placed the shots in front of him, waving off payment. He had fucked him into the mattress his first week of work and Eddie had been good to him ever since. Justin wasn’t the complete asshole his reputation claimed him to be. He even had drinks and civilized conversation with his tricks on occasion. Mikey had nicknamed it his “drinks and dick” date. For the time being that was the only date Justin was interested in. Once the shot glasses were empty, Justin was ready to check another item off his list for the night. It didn’t take him long to spot the blonde Adonis staring at him on the dance floor.

“Excuse me boys, I think I see someone I want to become better acquainted with.”

Justin flashed the group a smile and headed in the direction of his first fuck of the evening. The group resumed their conversation, only slightly acknowledging Justin’s disappearance. It was such a frequent occurrence that no one really paid much attention anymore. Justin had snuck into Babylon for the first time when he was just fifteen. Michael had wanted to go but refused to go anywhere without Justin. It wasn’t long before the two became permanent fixtures. By the time Justin was eighteen he had mastered every sexual position and turned the most brutal tops into bottom boys. Now a grown man, he could have any man he wanted and had every hot guy in the place vying for his attention. Michael basked in the attention he received as the sidekick to the biggest Stud on Liberty Ave.

“So Mikey, tell me what happened today with Brian?” Daphne asked, having waited all night to get him away from Justin.

“You probably know more than I do. Did he say anything this afternoon?” Michael replied.

“Not much. He’s all shook up about it though. I can tell” Daphne explained without divulging Justin’s hidden attraction to Brian.

“I just hope Brian listens to me and stays away”

“Now why would I do that?” Brian asked as he stepped up to the group.

“Well hello Brian. Long time no see,” Daphne greeted him coldly.

“Daphne, you look just as lovely as I remember. So glad to hear that you and Little Sunshine are still close.”

“Yeah, well I figured he had been abandoned enough by people who were supposed to love him so I decided to stick around. I know it’s a new concept for you but Mikey and I think it’s a wonderful idea.”

“Why Daphne, I would love to stand here all night and trade barbs with you but I have a sudden desire to dance. I hope you’ll all excuse me.”

Brian flashed a winning smile and stalked in the direction of his prey. Daphne watched him go, perplexed by his motives and what they meant for Justin.

“Michael, do you think there’s even the slightest chance that Brian really does care about Justin? Maybe that’s why he came back. It’s possible, right?” Daphne asked hopefully. Michael shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know Daph. Brian was never big on emotions but Justin was always the exception. Justin’s always had the best bullshit meter of anyone I’ve ever met so I guess we just have to trust him to know the difference.”

Daphne nodded her head in agreement and turned to watch Brian in action. She had noticed the way he looked at Justin and could tell that his feelings were no longer brotherly as well. Now it was up to Justin what he wanted to do about it.

Brian approached Justin from behind, lightly wrapping one arm around his waist. Justin was so enthralled with the music that he hardly noticed the body moving up against his back. Carefully, as not to startle the beautiful blonde, Brian encircled Justin’s waist with his other arm as well. Justin could feel the strong arms surround him and was about to step away when he noticed the appreciative glances from his blonde dance partner directed at his partner in the rear. He decided to ride out the moment a little longer and see what his mystery man would do next. To up the stakes a little, Justin pushed his ass back more toward his partner. He smiled at the moan that ripped out of the man’s mouth at the contact.  
Brian almost lost it the moment Justin’s ass connected with the bulge in his pants that grew impossibly harder. With a flick of his head, Brian warned off Justin’s other suitor. He wasn’t into sharing and especially not Justin. As the beat took a hold of both of them, their bodies began to rock harder against one another. Justin reached behind him to cup Brian’s ass, caressing and squeezing each cheek. Brian licked and nipped gently on the flesh of Justin’s neck, causing Justin’s breathing to speed up. His head lulled back against Brian’s chest, his eyes closed and mouth slightly parted. Unable to resist, Brian brought his lips down hard on Justin’s. Their tongues dueled for dominance, circling one another in an intimate dance.  
When breathing finally became an issue, Justin pulled back and opened his eyes. His mouth hung open in shock as his eyes locked on Brian’s.

“What the fuck!” Justin exclaimed.

Brian reached out for him but Justin stumbled backwards away from his arms.

“Justin, I didn’t mean to take it that far but when I felt you against me it just felt right. You felt right.”

“Brian, you can’t just…you can’t. You had no right” Justin shouted and headed quickly for the door. Brian swore under his breath in frustration as he watched Justin go. He really hadn’t meant to kiss or even touch the boy but he had never wanted someone so badly in his entire life. The smell of his hair alone had driven him wild with lust. Daphne ran after Justin, while the boys stared in Brian’s direction with contempt. Brian disappeared into the crowd, refusing to engage in an argument. He knew where they all stood already. Brian Kinney was once again on his own.


	4. Left Behind

Justin felt groggy when he finally woke up the next morning. The sun filtered through his blinds, causing him to squint as he finally opened his eyes. His foot came in contact with another body at the end of his bed and Justin jumped slightly, focusing on the man staring down at him.

“Brian, what are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

“Your roommate, Emmett, let me in as long as I swore to behave myself. You promised that we would talk today,” Brian explained.

“Yeah, I figured it would be later in the day. I wasn’t really expecting you to be sitting on my bed staring at me the moment I woke up,” Justin replied.

“I didn’t want you to have a chance to run off again.”

“Fine, I won’t run but would you mind waiting for me in the living room so I can get some clothes on and brush my teeth.”

Brian’s eyes grazed across Justin’s bare chest and rested momentarily on the bulge beneath the sheets. Justin’s hands moved to cover it, quickly explaining, “It’s just my morning hard on so don’t get any ideas that it has anything to do with you. Now if you’ll be a gentleman and excuse me I’d like to get dressed.”

Brian nodded his head and exited the room. He smiled to himself when the door clicked and locked behind him. Brian wandered over to the kitchen, where Emmett was just finishing his cup of coffee. He eyed Brian warily.

“You didn’t do anything, did you?” Emmett asked suspiciously.

“Don’t worry, Little Sunshine’s virtue is still intact.”

Emmett let out a loud belly laugh, before he could stop himself. Brian looked over at him perplexed.

“I’m sorry Handsome but you obviously know very little about Justin. That boy doesn’t have a virtuous bone in his delicious body. Don’t get me wrong, cause I do love that boy, but from before we even met three years ago he’s been a tomcat on the prowl. He scores more action in a week than I do in a whole year. Every night he has his pick of anyone at Babylon he wants. Your “Little Sunshine” is the King Stud of Liberty Ave.”

Brian had heard briefly about Justin’s reputation last night but it was different in broad daylight. If Brian had stuck around town he had no doubt that label would have been bestowed upon him. At 18 he was already becoming firmly established on Liberty Ave. Now he was considered fresh meat and Babylon was Justin’s playground. It was all too strange to even think about. Justin had turned into a carbon copy of himself, only new and improved. Brian had never trusted anyone enough to let them into his life, not after he left Pittsburgh. But Justin had this whole network of friends who cared about him and who he obviously cared for in return. It amazed him to think about how two people could be raised in the same hellish existence and turn out so different, yet also the same. He was so deep in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed Emmett get up to leave until he called his name.

“Brian, I don’t know you but it’s obvious you were someone both Justin and Michael looked up to way back when so you can’t be all bad. Just be careful where you tread in these new relationships with them. Michael was old enough to remember the good times but Jus was just a kid. His memories of you are very vague, more centered on emotion. I think he knows you cared enough to watch over him but that’s been overshadowed by years of pain. It’s gonna take some time for him to get his bearings. You don’t know what he’s been through”

“And he doesn’t know what I have either. We both grew up in that house. All I’m looking for is a chance to tell him my side of the story. He needs to hear it and make up his own mind.”

“You’ll get no argument from me, Sweetheart. Actually you won’t have to worry about me at all. I’m off to cater a party. Tell my gorgeous boy I had to run and we’ll catch up tonight at the diner.”

“You got it and thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt. I’m glad Justin has you and Mikey looking out for him.”

“We take care of our own and Jus definitely fits into that category. Who knows, if you stick around then maybe you will too.”

Emmett gave a bright smile before leaving the apartment with a wave. He had no doubt Brian would be sticking around town for a while. It would take longer than a few days to thaw Justin Taylor out and there was no way that man was leaving town until he did.  
Brian waited patiently for another couple of minutes before Justin came out to join him. He was completely dressed but his hair still had the adorable just woke up appearance. Brian wondered if that’s how he looked every morning. Brian sat down on a nearby couch and scooted over to give Justin room to join him. Justin was hesitant but eventually took the offered spot.

“Can I get you something to eat or drink?” Justin offered politely.

Brian shook his head and leaned forward a little, his eyes never leaving Justin’s.

“Fine, then talk. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me and would really like to get this out of the way now so I can continue on with my life.”

“You like your life?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, it’s not perfect or anything but you do what you can. Nothing was ever easy and I got used to that. I fought hard for everything I have,” Justin stated.

“So did I.”

“I don’t doubt that. The question remains how you could just drop out of all of our lives without once wondering what we were going through, what I was going through.”

Brian nodded his head in understanding and took a deep breath before starting to speak.

“I want to tell you everything so please don’t interrupt and listen to everything before judging me. It’s important.”

“Fine, just go ahead.”

“Practically from the moment I was born until I left for college I was Jack Kinney’s personal punching bag. He never wanted me born to begin with and Claire had always been the good child. When I was ten and you moved in, Jack wasn’t sure what to do with you. It was one more mouth to feed and he didn’t like that Joan had taken an immediate liking to you either. There were moments when you just a toddler that I thought Jack might get drunk enough to really hurt you and I couldn’t let that happen.”

“I know,” Justin replied.

“You don’t know the half of it Justin. You were still a baby. After the first few years Jack started to warm up to you a bit and I thought maybe you would be spared like Claire. That’s when I realized he was on a mission. His new goal was to make up for my shortcomings and turn you into the perfect son. I had been a big failure in his eyes and he had the opportunity to make it right with you.”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense,” Justin exclaimed. Jack Kinney had been abusive and cruel from the moment Brian walked out the door. There was no way he was ever proud of anything Justin had ever accomplished. 

“It does make sense if he just found out his only biological son is a faggot.”

“He knew?”

Justin looked at Brian in utter shock. Over the years Justin had never even considered coming out of the closet to the Kinney’s. There was no way his homophobic father or bible beating mother would accept a faggot in their midst. It was also none of their business. They had given up their right to know the real Justin a long time ago. Hell, they weren’t really his parents anyway.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I told him or anything. He came looking for me after one of my soccer games and found me in the locker room receiving a blowjob from one of my teammates.”

“Holy Shit!”

“I know. He beat me so bad that night, I could hardly walk to school the next day. Then the following week he pulled me aside and warned me to stay away from you. He was afraid I would corrupt his only chance at a “real” son. So I packed my bags for college and agreed with him to never come back. He said if I did he would find his own way to insure you became the perfect straight son he had always envisioned,” Brian explained.

“And you believed him?” Justin asked

“Hell yeah! He described in detail how he would hurt you and make me watch. I couldn’t risk it so I left. I thought about coming back when I got out of college but it wasn’t the right time. Then too much time had gone by and I figured you would have forgotten all about me.”

“When you first left I was devastated. I remember feeling so betrayed,” Justin began while Brian reached out to hold his hand, “Then the only thing I could focus on was survival. He might not have followed through with all of his plans to keep me straight but he never hesitated to beat me while you were gone. The weirdest things would set him off. I guess the whole irony of things is that with or without your influence I still grew up to be like you.”

Both men couldn’t help but laugh at how everything had turned out. Jack’s greatest fear had come true and he didn’t even know it. 

“But Justin, you’re not just like me. You have so many people in your life that care about you. I don’t know how it was even possible growing up in that house.”

“I was lucky I had the Novotny’s, Daphne, and my art. Then I met Lindsey when I was maybe fifteen. She really expanded my perceptions of the world. She taught me to see the good in people and not always expect a recreation of my youth.”

“Which one is Lindsey? Have I met her?”

“Not yet, but you will. She was the pregnant blonde at the funeral.”

“Oh yeah, pretty lady.”

“Thanks. You should tell her to her face. She eats that kind of shit up.”

Both men chuckled, enjoying the momentary respite from any big heavy issues. Justin felt completely drained from the serious discussion. Brian’s reasoning did make some sense but eleven years of hardened feelings were impossible to just let go of. He still needed time to let everything sink in.”

“Brian thanks for coming over to talk but it’s a lot to absorb in one day. I can’t give you the absolution that you want. I can, however, try to put our past behind us and get to know the man you are now. You’ll just have to be a little patient with me. We’re basically strangers but I’d like us to be friends. Do you think we can do that?”

Brian nodded his head and agreed. Justin’s willingness to allow him into his life was more than Brian had hoped for. As they stared into one another’s eyes, Brian found himself getting lost in the twin pools of blue. He began to realize more and more that friendship wasn’t the only thing he wanted from Justin. The kiss from last night was still fresh in his mind. He just had to wait and give Justin time to warm up to him. They still had a lot to learn about one another.

“So, I’ve got to head over to the studio today to work on a project but why don’t you meet me and the gang later at the diner? It’ll be a good opportunity for you to spend some time with my fucked up little family.”

“Sure, that would be nice,” Brian replied and finally let go of Justin’s hand. He hadn’t even realized he was still holding it until Justin stood up. They casually said their good-byes before Justin headed toward his studio deep in thought. The story Brian had told him was unexpected and added another dimension to the Brian Kinney mystery. He wanted to know more about this man and wondered why it was so easy letting him into his life. Justin had a strange feeling that starting today his life would be different. 

As Brian headed back to his hotel, he came to the conclusion that two more days in Pittsburgh wasn’t going to cut it. There was no way he would be able to worm his way into Justin’s life in such a short period of time. His thoughts were all over the place when he pulled up to a traffic light and looked to his right at the sign for Vanguard Advertising Agency. Quickly grabbing his cellophone, Brian hit the number two on his speed dial and put the phone to his ear.

“Cynthia, I need you to find out everything you can about the Vanguard Agency. Oh, and how do you feel about moving back to Pittsburgh?”


	5. Left Behind

Justin was thrilled to have the studio to himself. It seemed like Jake always had a creative inspiration at the same moment as Justin, which made it sometimes difficult to really concentrate on what he was painting. Today, of all days, he needed a little time to let everything out and really tap into what he was feeling. His conversation with Brian had gone better than expected but he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. He had spent so much of his life focusing on Brian’s abandonment that there wasn’t much room to remember the good times or the influence Brian once had on his life. The confusion didn’t end there either. This new Brian was a man and one that he was attracted to and if the kiss at Babylon was any indication then the feelings were mutual. He had attempted to forget the kiss altogether but it continually crept back into his head. He wondered if Brian was having the same problem.  
Justin’s hand glided across the canvas, as if on a mission. He had been working in abstracts and this one was taking off in a completely different direction than originally intended. In the back of his head, Justin knew this wasn’t exactly helping in his desire to forget the other night but he was possessed. A couple hours later Justin stood back to admire his work, wondering if anyone else would be able to see what the painting really depicted. The colors were mostly dark with flashes of bright red and in the center, if you really looked carefully, were two bodies in an intimate embrace. Justin could pretend they were just two random people but he knew who they were supposed to be. Glancing at his watch, Justin couldn’t believe the time and hurried home to shower before hitting the diner. Tonight would be a long night.

Brian had spent most of the day in his hotel room researching Vanguard and other agencies on his laptop. Cynthia had uncovered the basics in a hurry, which had only peaked his interest more. He hadn’t seriously thought there would be anything there but the agency’s history and cost projections were exactly what he had been looking for. Even with all the research they had been doing in New York, nothing had come close to being what he wanted for his future agency. He wanted something with a good backbone but poorly managed enough to be up for grabs if approached by the right buyer. Vanguard had a decent reputation but was known for delivery problems and a lack of groundbreaking ideas. The price was a steal compared to anything he had found in New York. The question really became whether he would want to come back to the Pitts after all of this time. He had time to decide, especially now that he had extended his stay for another week. Cynthia hadn’t liked the change in itinerary and had threatened his balls if he didn’t show up in the office a week from Monday. He figured that would be enough time to weigh the pros and cons.

By the time Justin walked into the diner with Emmett, Mikey and Ben were already sipping sodas in one of the booths. They greeted each other warmly and relaxed into polite conversation. Mikey was the first to bring up the elephant in the room.

“So what happened with you and Brian last night? You took off like a bat out of hell and Brian disappeared shortly after that.”

Justin shrugged his shoulders, not really looking forward to airing all of his dirty laundry within eavesdropping distance of all of Gay PA. The queens would lap up every bit of juicy detail surrounding the King Stud’s possible romantic attachments and mixed up emotions. In his short life he had never had a boyfriend or even dated someone on a consistent basis. The only guys who even knew the “real” Justin were Mikey, Emmett, Ben, and Ted.

“Come on Justin, that’s bullshit. You and Brian were pretty friendly on the dance floor,” Mikey persisted.

“I didn’t even know it was him,” Justin snapped back.

“Yeah well Brian sure as hell did and obviously wanted to remind you when he came by this morning,” Emmett interjected.

“Damn it Emmett, would you shut your fucking mouth?” Justin asked exasperated. 

“Sorry Princess didn’t know it was a big secret.”

“It’s not, I just don’t want to talk about it. It’s between me and Brian.”

“Didn’t think there was anything between you and Brian. At least that’s what you said a minute ago. I saw the way he looked at you. You know out of anybody that I would understand the most if you feel something for him. Hell, he was the first man I ever loved. Luckily, not the last,” Mikey said and looped his arm around Ben shoulders.

“I’m not you and I don’t want to talk about Brian.”

“And why not Sunshine?” Brian asked from behind them, pulling a chair up to the table. He smiled at everyone, his eyes twinkling with delight.

“Brian, what are you doing here?” Michael asked.

“Eating, of course. Oh, and Sunshine invited me.”

“Did he?” Emmett chirped excitedly.

“It’s not a big deal guys. We were talking earlier and I asked Brian if he wanted to meet us here for dinner. That OK with everyone?” Justin asked annoyed.

There was a chorus of yes’s, as Debbie stopped by the table to take everyone’s orders. The rest of the dinner consisted of casual conversation and Emmett taking the time to grill Brian on everything he had been doing for the last eleven years. Justin remained mostly silent, trying not to act like he was paying close attention to everything Brian said. Justin couldn’t help but be proud of Brian’s accomplishments and ability to move beyond his fucked up childhood. He was the top adman at a highly successful agency, was on his way to starting his own, owned a large apartment on the upper eastside, and had a sophistication that drew people to him. While Justin had been able to move beyond his past as well, he had never fully escaped Pittsburgh or the Kinney’s. Joan and Claire still relied on him to take care of their messes and with so many ties to the community, there was no way he was ever leaving town. He would have to settle for being the big fish in the small pond and leave the New York dream to Brian.  
The diner had slowed down enough for Deb to take a break, so she headed over to visit a little with her boys. She leaned down to kiss Michael’s cheek and ruffled Justin’s hair before narrowing her eyes in Brian’s direction.

“So, you plan on sticking around or taking off again in the middle of the night and worrying us all sick? I thought poor Michael was going to have a break down when you just took off like that,” Deb explained.

“Ma!” Michael whined.

“What? I just don’t want you boys to get all comfy again and then have Brian disappear on you.”

“Deb, I’m not going anywhere for at least another week or more so no need to get your panties in a bunch.”

“You’re not?” Justin asked surprised.

“No Sunshine I’m not. There’s no one running me out of town this time so I think I’d like to stick around for a bit and take in the sights,” Brian said in a deep voice, his eyes staring directly into Justin’s. Justin nodded his head and looked over at Mikey for his reaction. Michael was doing the same exact thing to Justin. They both erupted in laughter, always surprised that they could read each other so well. Ben and Emmett shook their heads in amusement.

“What? I don’t get it,” Brian asked, confused by the joke he was apparently missing. 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. They’ve been like this forever. Sometimes I think they share the same brain, they’re always so in tune with each other. I’ve never seen two best friends closer. Add Daphne to the mix and they’re downright scary.”

Michael reached across the table and playfully pushed Justin, who returned the favor. All four men were laughing and Brian had never felt so alone. For the first time in his life, he thought that maybe it would be nice to have a few people in his life. It was obviously working for Justin. He wondered if that was why Justin had invited him out tonight, not only as a sign of forgiveness but also an invitation into his family. As he watched them make jokes and throw out lude comments, he couldn’t help but smile.

“So what do you think Bri?” Mikey asked.

Brian had no clue what they were talking about at that point but he felt encouraged by the gentleness in Mikey’s eyes. This was the olive branch he had been hoping for from his former best friend.

“Sure Mikey, he’s doable if you don’t mind a small cock. As I recall, you were always partial to a larger specimen.”

“Bri, you know me so well,” Michael chuckled, caressing Ben’s thigh under the table. The small talk went on for a little while longer before heading out to Woody’s to meet Ted.  
The guys went to hunt down a pool table, leaving Justin and Brian to get the drinks. Justin approached the bar, raising his hand slightly to signal the bartender. He immediately headed over to Justin, already grabbing for a bottle of Jim Beam.

“Hey Justin, how’s it going? You here alone?”

“Nope, the guys are over getting a table and this here is Brian. Can I get a couple of beers to go with my shot?”

“Make that two,” Brian interjected. He glanced around the bar, noticing the attention they were both receiving. He knew they must look striking together, a mix of light and dark. Justin’s reputation and his newness to the scene only added to the intrigue. Once they had delivered the first round to the table, Brian and Justin headed over to a private table without another sound. They relaxed back in their seats, each waiting for the other to speak. Brian was the first to give in.

“So Justin, why don’t you tell me what you’ve been up to the last eleven years?”

“I thought I already did.”

“I don’t mean a page from the Kinney family scrapbook. I want to know about you. You might not have taken the first bus out of town but your life is as separate from the Kinney’s as mine.”

“Not quite, but I try to keep family contact to a minimum. I’ve got my own family now. I go to school at PIFA on a full scholarship and work part-time at the Liberty Diner. Almost every Sunday it’s dinner at Debbie’s and I’ve got the clubs to keep me busy at night. There’s not much else to say. How about you? Tell me about the Big Apple,” Justin requested.

“New York is New York. Big city, lots of fuckable guys, and a job nobody can do better than me. Have you ever thought about moving out of the Pitts?”

Justin shook his head.

“Not anymore, too many commitments. I have a life here that I can’t just walk away from. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound that way.”

“Don’t worry about. No apologies, no regrets. I know you’ve got friends here but you can’t let that stop you from going out on your own.”

“It’s more than that.”

“What do you mean?”

Before Justin had a chance to respond, his eyes came in contact with a tall beefy blonde. He figured a nice piece of ass was the perfect way to avoid any further discussion. Gesturing to the trick with his head, Justin headed toward the bathroom. 

“Excuse me Bri, duty calls. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

Brian watched Justin’s perfect ass walk away and decided it was time he satisfied his own needs. Grabbing the first good-looking guy he could find, Brian followed the same path as Justin. The bathroom wasn’t too spacious but plenty of room for a number of sexual conquests. As Brian entered the room, he could see the Justin in the open stall at the end. The door had been left open and the large blonde was on his knees worshipping Justin’s cock. Justin’s head was tilted back, his breath coming in quick gasps as he pumped in and out of the trick’s mouth.  
Brian had always been an exhibitionist and didn’t hesitate to push the trick up against the sinks. He kissed him fiercely, exploring all the crevices of his mouth before whipping him around to face the mirror. Brian yanked his pants down in a hurry, his eyes watching Justin in the mirror. Justin, oblivious to everything but the pleasure coursing through his body, arched up against the mouth surrounding him.   
Brian thrust harder into the willing ass in front of him, his orgasm building fast and furious while his eyes skimmed across Justin’s taut abs. Justin’s eyes suddenly popped open as he let loose, moaning softly. Justin’s lust filled gaze made contact with Brian’s in the mirror, triggering his orgasm as well. As their breathing slowed down, their eyes remained locked on one another. Once both of their tricks had moved away, Brian turned to face him, taking note of the beautiful flush of his cheeks. Justin had never seen a man look more desirable than Brian did when he climaxed. He was still coming down off his high when he noticed they were both alone and hadn’t moved a muscle. He took a step forward, unsure what to do next. Brian followed suit and they were only inches apart when an anxious Michael flung the door to the bathroom open.

“Jus, I’ve been looking everywhere for your fucking ass. Don’t you ever leave your cell on?”

Justin pulled his cell from his pocket, examining the dark screen.

“Guess not, why what’s up?”

“Mel just called me looking for you. They’re at the hospital. Lindz is in labor!”

“Holy shit!” Justin exclaimed, running his hand through his messy hair.

“Yeah, I know. Now get your ass in gear and I’ll drive.”

“So your friend’s having a baby. That’s great!” Brian commented. Michael finally noticed Brian’s presence and turned to question Justin.

“What? Mikey, just get the car. I’ll wash up and meet you outside.”

“OK, later Brian,” Michael said softly and hurried out the door. Justin turned back to look at Brian. He quickly washed and dried his hands, before heading for the door.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you later.”

“It’s wonderful how much you care about your friends and their child.”

Justin looked a little nervous, as he shifted back and forth on the balls of his feet.

“You see that’s the thing, it’s actually my son she giving birth to.”

“What?”

“Sorry Bri but it’s a long story and I really gotta run. Mikey’s waiting and the girls will never forgive me if I’m not there. Plus, how many chances do I get to see snatch?”

Justin smiled and once again rushed to the door.

“Justin, wait! I’m coming with you!” Brian called out.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m now a part of this family too, as long as you approve,” Brian asked hesitantly. Justin smiled brightly.

“Then come on. Move your ass!”

And both men were out the door.


	6. Left Behind

It didn’t take Michael long to reach the hospital. He had probably broken at least half a dozen traffic laws but Justin wasn’t counting. They jumped out of the car as soon as they pulled up and ran full speed into the hospital, Brian trailing behind. A quick stop at the front desk and they were on the run again to the maternity ward. Daphne was pacing back and forth in the reception area when they arrived.

"Justin, thank god! Mel’s on a war path and you my dear friend are enemy number one."

"When am I not enemy number one in Mel’s book? Where are they?"

"Down here Asshole!" Mel yelled down the hall, glaring in Justin’s direction.

"I got here as soon as I heard so let’s take it down a notch, shall we?" Justin requested, trying to remain calm as he approached her.

"Yeah, let’s see you keep your cool when Lindsey’s squeezing your hand like a juicer and damning you to hell."

"I’m used to her shit, let me at her."

"Fine, but let’s get you suited up first."

Mel grabbed Justin by the hand, dragging him into another room.

"Later Boys," he called out before disappearing from sight.

Michael and Daphne went to sit down in a couple of chairs and talked excitedly about what was happening. Brian stood a few feet away, looking out a nearby window. His mind was still reeling with the knowledge Justin was about to be a dad. He had missed so much of Justin’s life. It was hard to believe Justin was even old enough to be someone’s father. Then again they had both grown up quicker than your average kid. Brian had never considered himself father material but Justin would probably be great at it.

"Hey Brian, why don’t you come over and sit with me and Daph?" Michael called out to him.

Brian slowly edged his way over, sitting a few chairs away. There was an awkward silence for a couple minutes before Daphne spoke up.

"Brian, I’m sure Justin’s glad you came. He’s had mixed feelings about this whole father thing so I think having as much family here as possible helps to ease his mind. He hasn’t told Claire or your mother yet. Too much happening with your dad’s illness, the funeral, and all the uncle duties your sister seems to think Justin should have. She’s a complete user and I have no idea why he puts up with it."

"Because as much as she annoys the crap out of him he is still the most loyal person you’ll ever meet. That’s probably one of the reason’s we’re still best friends after all these years," Michael responded.

"There’s also the minor detail that he loves you," Daphne stated. Michael smiled fondly, while he spoke.

"One of the few."

"What do you mean?" Brian asked and leaned forward more in his chair.

Michael seemed thoughtful for a moment. Returning Brian’s intense stare, he explained, "Brian, you know better than anyone how Justin was raised. Hell, your childhood experiences were identical. Your abandonment didn’t help any and I know you had reasons so I don’t want you to explain anything. The only person whose opinion matters is Justin and your appearance tonight bodes very well for his acceptance."

"We’re working on it."

"I know, I can see that. What I’m trying to say is that it takes time for him to trust people and let them into his life. It might seem like he’s an open book but that’s the Justin only his family sees. And by family, I mean the guys and those of us here tonight. To everyone else on Liberty Ave and at PIFA he’s a moody artist that’ll give you the best fuck you’ll ever have. You coming here tonight? Being privy to the birth of his child? That’s a big deal and I just hope you appreciate that."

"I do. Mikey, you think there’s a way we could ever get back the friendship we once had?"

"I don’t know. I think our friendship before partially had to do with my attraction to you, so it was never on even ground. Justin and I have always been equals, even when he was just a little kid. I don’t think you and I will ever be best friends again but that doesn’t mean we can’t be close. That is if you decide to stick around. I missed you."

"Yeah, I missed you too" Brian said with a smile and reached out to hold Michael’s hand for a moment. They continued to talk about old times, until Mel yelled down the hall, "Get your asses in here and say hello to our son!"

When the three of them walked into the room, Lindsey was lying on the bed with Mel seated on one side and Justin on the other. He held in his arms a tiny little baby resting peacefully. Justin was gazing so intently at the bundle in his arms that he didn’t even hear the others arrive. Mel held Lindsey’s right hand, while her other resting lightly on Justin’s upper thigh. Brian was mesmerized by the happy little family and could hardly move. Michael, on the other hand, was snapping photo after photo of Justin and his son.

"So what are you going to name him?" Daphne asked.

"Melanie wants to name him Abraham after her grandfather but I like Gus," Lindsey explained, looking directly into Justin’s face. He snapped out of his daze and lifted his head to gaze at Brian.

"What do you think?"

"Gus, it’s a good butch name," Brian replied. 

"Plus he wouldn’t survive a day at school named Abraham," Justin added with a smile.

"Come on Gus, give your daddy a smile," Justin cooed into the little face, as flash bulbs seemed to explode all around him. With Daphne and Mikey as his best friends, no significant moment was ever without proper documentation. Lindsey finally diverted her attention from Gus and spoke to Brian for the first time.

"Brian, it’s so good to see you here. Did Justin call you?"

"No, we were out together."

"Were you?"

"Lindz, stop needling him for information. We were at Woody’s with the guys when Mel bellowed. Brian volunteered to come along, end of story," Justin said exasperated.

"Brian, would you like to hold him?" Lindsey offered.

Brian didn’t know what possessed him to say yes but before he could really think about what he was doing there was a beautiful baby boy in his arms. Brian held him close to his chest, staring down in amazement at the tiny button nose and soft fuzzy blonde hair. It felt like an out of body experience for him. Justin smiled fondly at the scene playing out in front of him. As good as it felt, there was also a smidgen of terror coursing through his veins. He was a father, now what? He had no role model to idolize and zero experience with children. Suddenly, he needed air.

"Excuse me," Justin squeaked and headed out the door. His breathing finally turned to normal once he was outside on the roof.

Michael started to follow, but Daphne stopped him.

"You stay here and I’ll go take care of our little drama queen. Do you think it’s too early for a midlife crisis?"

Everyone laughed as Daphne took off after Justin. Brian had been worried too but was enjoying his time with Gus too much to relinquish his bundle. Michael was completely shocked by the transformation that occurred the moment Brian held Gus. He edged a little closer, wanting a better look.

"Brian, eventually you’ll have to share with the rest of us. You’re not the only Uncle in the room."

Brian’s head shot up in confusion.

"Uncle?"

"Yeah, Claire and her brood are definitely not getting familial rights. He’ll have enough relatives with all his uncles and you didn’t actually think Daphne would let Justin have a child and not give her the title of Aunt. This little guy is gonna have a whole network of love so get used to it Uncle Brian."

Brian smirked and gently placed Gus in Michael’s arms. Lindsey and Melanie looked on with pride.

Meanwhile, Justin was pacing back and forth on the roof, trying to figure out how he had gotten into this mess in the first place. Daphne watched him, completely amused. She was surprised it had taken him this long to queen out. She was expecting it the day Lindsey called to say she was pregnant.

"Why did I ever listen to Lindsey? You or Mikey should have stopped me. I never wanted to be a father. I don’t even know what one is supposed to do, besides get drunk and beat the crap out of your kid. Not exactly what Lindz had in mind."

Daphne wrapped her arms around him from behind and rested her cheek on his shoulder. One of her hands lightly caressed his side.

"You did this on your own so don’t blame us. Hell, we tried to warn you but all you could hear is Lindz spouting off about you two producing some sort of gorgeous blonde hair blue eyed artistic genius. You were both drunk and high the night she convinced you jerk off in a cup. I wouldn’t be surprised if she added a hand."

"Yeah, well what am I going to do now?"

"Easy, you’re going to walk down those stairs, get a degree from PIFA, have your paintings hung in the biggest most glamorous galleries in the world, and be the best father Gus could ever want. Lindsey chose you for a reason."

"To piss off Mel."

They both laughed.

"All right, two reasons. The second is because you are a good man who has made something of himself despite the odds. Gus is lucky to have you. Now let’s go downstairs and grab the boys before the hospital room is inundated with munchers."

As they walked down the hall, Justin grabbed a couple pills from his pocket and swallowed quickly. He offered Daphne one as well but she declined, giggling when a doctor made eyes at Justin. The boy couldn’t go anywhere without someone checking him out. Brian and Michael were standing just outside the door, when they arrived. Justin sent them both to the car, promising to be out after a quick good-bye to Lindz and the baby. Daphne listened quietly at the door while Justin embraced the mother of his child and whispered a sweet farewell to the beautiful baby boy. No matter what Justin said, Daphne was sure he would become the type of father any kid dreamed of having. 

By the time Michael was driving back toward Justin’s apartment, he was already high and feeling no pain. Brian sat next to him in the backseat, laughing at his stupid jokes and sexual innuendo. One moment he was telling a knock knock joke and the next Justin was grabbing Brian by the back of the head and pulling him into a fierce kiss. Brian was taken completely by surprise, but returned the kiss with vigor. He could feel something go down his throat and pulled back to look in Justin’s face.

"It’s just a little present from Anita. I don’t like to party alone."

Brian shook his head, only slightly annoyed.

"Hey Brian, what hotel are you staying at?" Michael asked.

"Just go to my place. He’s staying with me." Justin slurred.

"No way Justin, I’m taking him back to the hotel."

"Not your decision my friend. Brian, do you want to come home with me?"

Brian was already starting to feel a little light-headed and he knew it was only a matter of time before he was as out of control as Justin. The smart thing to do would be to go back to the hotel and sleep it off. Unfortunately, he could still taste Justin’s sweetness on his lips. That one kiss had thrown out any honorable intention he might have had.

"Mikey, I’m going to Justin’s."

The two boys stumbled into the apartment, whispering loudly in an attempt not to wake up Emmett. Justin peered into his bedroom and hooted in triumph when he found it empty.

"Looks like Em got lucky, no need to be quiet anymore."

"We weren’t being quiet in the first place."

"Oh yeah," Justin giggled, falling back on the couch. As he stared up at the ceiling, Justin attempted to focus on the white lines but they all seemed to swirl together.

"Bri, do think I’ll be an OK dad? It’s not like I have anything to draw from. What if I fuck it up? Is it too late to take him back?"

"I think Lindsey might have a few issues with that. You know exactly what not to do so just do the opposite. You should be fine. Plus, if you bail he’ll always have Mel to provide a strong masculine influence."

Justin giggled again and told Brian to come join him. After an almost tumble onto the floor, Brian tripped over his shoelace and landed hard on top of Justin.

"Shit Bri, I said come closer, not on top of me."

They both laughed some more but neither made an attempt to move. Justin could feel Brian’s hardness against his thigh and hoped his wasn’t near as obvious. His blue eyes sparkled as they looked up at Brian’s flawless features.

"If you hadn’t left town do you think we’d still end up where we are now?"

"You mean me on top of you? I doubt it. I’d like to think we’d still be in each other’s lives in some way. You’re one of the only reasons I came back to this crappy town."

"As much as my childhood sucked, I think everything worked out for the best. I wouldn’t want to change a thing about where I am now."

"Do you mean underneath me or in general?"

Justin bit his lower lip and stared at Brian unflinching.

"Both," he responded.

"Yeah?" Brian questioned, leaning in a little closer to Justin.

"Yeah," Justin practically whispered, his lips only a couple inches from Brian’s. Their eyes remained glued to one another as each brought their faces a little closer. Finally their lips touched, sparks flying the moment they came in contact. Justin moaned into the kiss, arching his back off the couch and trailing his fingers down the muscles of Brian’s back. Brian’s hands groped Justin’s sides, lifting the edges of his shirt to expose his rippled chest. Brian gasped as Justin nibbled just below his ear. Every feeling was magnified from the effects of the drugs.   
Justin yanked at the buttons on Brian’s jeans and continued to ravage his mouth, only stopping when Brian pulled away.

"Bedroom?" Brian asked, glancing around to see the nearby door. Justin pointed in the correct direction and allowed Brian to lift him over his shoulder to make it there. He concentrated hard on walking straight and not dropping his precious bundle. Once he had reached the bed, Brian dropped Justin down with a thud and immediately covered his body. He ripped at Justin’s shirt, yanking it off him in one swoop. Followed immediately by his tight jeans. Then Brian stripped himself down quickly and settled back between Justin’s legs. His kiss this time was slower and more sensual.  
Brian then proceeded to kiss down every inch of Justin’s body, hands following the path of his lips. Justin’s breath became more ragged as Brian neared his weeping erection. He was almost screaming with pleasure when Brian took him completely into his mouth. His tongue traced every vein, sucking slowly on the head.

"God Bri, you gotta stop or I’m gonna…"

Before Justin could finish his statement, Brian’s mouth covered his in a sloppy tongue filled kiss. Justin greedily returned the kiss, enjoying the taste of himself on Brian’s lips. Brian reached in his jeans for the ever-present condom and lube but was halted by Justin’s hand.

"Bri, take it easy with me. It’s been a long time."

"You mean…"

"I’m a top, haven’t bottomed since I was fifteen. I just might need a little time to adjust."

Brian nodded his head, even through his drug filled haze he understood what Justin was giving him. Once his condom was secure, Brian inserted one finger in Justin’s tight hole and worked it gently until the muscles relaxed. Little by little he added another and inched in even more. When he felt loose enough, Brian nudged his dick against Justin entrance and slowly pushed in. Justin took a deep breath at the intrusion while Brian waited for him to adjust.  
Justin nodded his head to continue and the pace increased, Brian making small jabs at Justin’s prostrate.

"Jus, you’re so fucking tight. It feels incredible," Brian breathed against his skin, licking the sweat from his shoulder. The two were in complete sync as their orgasms built, calling each other’s names at a fevered pitch. Brian slumped down on Justin’s body, removing the condom and wiping them both clean with tissues from the nightstand. Justin’s body curled up to Brian’s before he drifted off to sleep. Brian’s hand caressed the wet skin on his forehead and he couldn’t help but smile at the sleeping angel in his arms. Justin burrowed in even closer, almost purring when Brian wrapped his arms around the slight body.

"Good night Sunshine."

The next morning started with the annoying buzz of Justin’s alarm clock. Without thinking, Justin reached over and slammed the snooze button, relaxing back into the mattress. His arm fell back and landed on another body, causing a yelp of protest. Blue eyes immediately sprung open and locked on equally surprised hazel.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" two voices called out at once.


	7. Left Behind

Brian and Justin stared at each other in shock, each trying to process exactly what had happened the night before. Brian combed his fingers through his hair, attempting to somehow ease the pain radiating through his skull. Justin wasn’t feeling much better but refused to let Brian think he couldn’t handle his drugs. He blamed Anita because the shit was not near as pure as advertised.

“I can’t fucking believe this! What was I thinking?” Justin moaned, burying his head in the soft pillow. Brian winced at the statement, glad that the blonde head was so oblivious.

“Thanks Sunshine. You know I wasn’t exactly coherent either last night.”

“So then we both agree it was a big fucking mistake. Thank god! I don’t know what the hell Anita gave me last night but that was not E. Shit, everything’s so fuzzy. Do you remember anything from last night?”

Brian shrugged.

“I don’t know. It’s all coming back in pieces. Didn’t someone have a baby last night?”

Justin bolted up from the bed; his eyes wide open in shock.

“Shit, I have a baby!”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. It was Your kid we went to see last night. Cute little fucker.”

“Obviously, we’re talking about my genes here.”

Justin stood up naked and walked over to the closet to grab a towel. Brian’s eyes followed the movement of his ass, sudden flashes of last night’s activities whirling through his mind. He couldn’t remember how everything had started but the tightness of Justin’s ass was ingrained in his memory. Justin had been so wanton and free sexually, more than anyone he had ever been with in his entire life. They had been complete equals, meeting thrust for thrust. He wondered how much Justin really remembered and if his ass was still feeling the burn from being stretched. He never would have pegged Justin as a top but that was just one more development Brian wasn’t expecting. It hadn’t actually surprised him at all to learn Justin preferred cock. He had figured with Justin’s sweet blonde looks, he would be the perfect bottom boy. And he had been but there was an aggressiveness about him that hinted at his traditional role. All the Liberty Ave gossip was obviously true concerning the young blonde’s stud status. 

Justin could feel Brian’s lustful gaze follow him to the closet. It pleased him to know the effect his naked body had on the beautiful man. Moments from last night were slowly filtering into his head and the biggest hint was the soreness in his ass. He couldn’t believe he had actually given Brian free range of his body. He never allowed anyone to dominate him. It reminded him too much of his childhood and not being able to control what was happening to him. Things were different with Brian. No one could understand what he endured more than Brian. That was the one thing Justin missed most when Brian was gone. He had managed to surround himself with good people who loved him but none of them really knew him, not the way Brian did. Mikey and Daph had been privy to his scrapes and bruises, his broken bones and burns, but not the moments when he retreated inside of himself to escape the pain. He preferred to live in his “what if” world when Daph picked him up and not open the door to his abuse. They had healed his physical wounds, never realizing the deep emotional scars left behind. Brian knew and as comforting as it was to know you were no longer alone, it was also scared the living crap out of him. And obviously caused him to make some seriously bad judgement calls.  
As Justin wrapped the towel around his waist, he turned to look in Brian’s direction.

“I’m jumping in the shower. Feel free to grab whatever you want from the kitchen before you leave.”

“No thanks, I’m not much of a breakfast person. I’ll probably just pick up a coffee at the Starbucks next to my hotel.”

“You need a ride?”

“You can’t. Mikey has the car.”

“If you want to hang out for a bit, he’ll most likely be by shortly to return it. He lives in a pretty shitty part of town and can’t stand the thought of anything happening to my car. I think he’s afraid I’ll expose all of his deepest darkest secrets at Babylon or something. I keep telling him if he didn’t do so much embarrassing shit he wouldn’t have that problem.”

Brian laughed, picturing all of the crazy things they used to do together in high school. When he left the Pitts, he never thought about the friendship he’d be losing with Mikey. There was no one in New York City that could even compare. But at the time Justin’s well being had to come before his own needs. And Justin had still been hurt despite his choice to follow his abusive father’s rules. Brian was no longer smiling as he thought about his failure. He had given up the two most important people in his life for nothing. Justin noticed Brian’s sudden change in attitude.

“Something wrong, Bri?”

“No, don’t worry about it. Just take your shower and I’ll wait here for you.”

“OK. Mikey’s got a key so don’t be surprised if he just barges in. That’s what he usually does.”

Justin disappeared into the shower, giving Brian a moment to think. A part of him wanted to shower too, esp. if Justin was already inside, but it felt too intimate and neither of them was ready for that. He doubted he ever could be. Brian slowly got dressed and was just starting to button up his shirt when a key jingled in the door. Mikey rushed in and called out for Justin, not noticing Brian’s presence in the bedroom.

“He’s in the shower, should be out in a minute. How’s the car?”

Michael’s eyes widened when he caught sight of Brian’s exposed chest and the bedroom’s disarray. Brian looked a little too comfortable in his surroundings. Michael stood in silence for a moment, unsure what to say to his former best friend. He knew his crush had long since disappeared but being this close to the half naked man still had an effect on him.

“You all right Mikey? Have a seat.”

“No thanks, I’ll just stand. You have any big plans for today?”

“Don’t know. I have a little project I need to check on and then maybe meet up with Justin later.”

“He’ll probably be too busy.”

Brian arched an eyebrow in Michael’s direction. Since when did Justin Taylor clear his social calendar with anyone? Brian chuckled slightly remembering when Mikey used to do the same thing with him. Nice to know some things never change.

“I guess I’ll just have to ask him myself when he gets out of the shower.”

Michael sighed and sat down next to Brian on the bed.

“Bri, he’s already had you so don’t expect some happy hetero existence with him. You had drinks and sex, that’s his MO. I tried to warn you last night not to cross that line with him but neither of you listened. Now you’ll just have to give him a little space. I know that your prior relationship will probably complicate things in his head and he’ll need time to adjust.”

“Adjust to what? Jesus Mikey, I don’t believe in relationships either so you don’t have to worry about me turning all stalker on you. We fucked, end of story,” Brian exclaimed in annoyance. Michael looked over at him confused.

“I don’t get it, then why do you want to hang out with him later?”

“Because we’re friends and I thought after last night we were all becoming family again too. Was I wrong?”

“No, you weren’t,” Justin stated from the bathroom door. His body glistened with droplets of water, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. Brian attempted to reign in his hormones and not just jump the blonde right now, rules be damned. Justin had overheard the tale end of the conversation and although he agreed with Michael’s logic, Justin couldn’t bare grouping Brian in the same category as all his other tricks. He didn’t want Mikey doing it either.

“Hey Jus, you almost ready to go?” Michael asked, wanting to get Justin alone to talk as quickly as possible.

“Sure, just give me a second to put on some clothes. We have to drop Brian off at the hotel on the way to the hospital.”

“But I told Lindsey…” Michael sputtered.

“It’s not like she’s going anywhere. The woman just gave birth. Jesus, it’s practically on the way,” Justin replied and dropped his towel to the ground. Michael was used to Justin’s lack of modesty and had seen him naked too many times to count. Brian, on the other hand, was transfixed by the beautiful image and had to keep reminding himself that they were no longer alone. Michael watched Brian’s expression, amused by the lust in his gaze. He was kidding himself if he thought he could just walk away from a physical relationship with Justin just like that. Brian Kinney was in for a rude awakening.  
Justin glanced over his shoulder, as he pulled up his jeans and caught the desire in Brian’s eyes. It warmed his entire body to see Brian’s blatant desire. He wished he could remember everything that happened between them. It would be a great memory to jerk off to when Brian returned to New York.  
.  
Not much was said on the drive to the hotel, each man in their own thoughts. Brian hopped out and leaned into Justin’s open window, as soon as they arrived. His eyes flicked up and down Justin’s body, barely in control of his urges.

“Busy later?”

“I’ll be around. Call me,” Justin suggested before reaching up for a chaste kiss. His lips practically burned from the all too brief contact. Brian opened his mouth for more but Justin was already gunning the engine and pulling away. The car was almost onto the road when Justin called out, “Later.” Brian replied the sentiment and turned toward the hotel entrance.  
They had driven less than a mile before Michael turned in his seat and confronted Justin, “What the hell was that about?”

“What?” Justin asked innocently.

“What do you mean what? Since when do tricks stay the night and get invited back for more the next day?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s nothing. He’s my friend and yours too I might add. What’s with the third degree? We fucked, big deal.”

“That’s exactly what Brian said.”

“Really?” Justin asked, confused by the sudden nauseous feeling in his gut. He didn’t appreciate being dismissed by Brian so quickly. It bothered him in a way he hadn’t expected. Michael caught his reaction immediately. How two men could be so stubborn and blind was beyond his comprehension. It was moments like this that Michael could easily see their shared upbringing shining through.

“Yup, thought you’d be happy to know Brian won’t become another one of your drooling admirers.”

“I am. It’s a real load off my mind,” Justin affirmed and continued to concentrate on the road. But no matter how much he distracted himself, that sick feeling wouldn’t go away. Michael smirked and glanced out the window, the untouchable Justin Taylor wasn’t so untouchable after all.

Brian immediately started up his computer the moment he entered the hotel room. Cynthia had sent him numerous cost projection reports, as well as current personnel information on Vanguard and another agency in New York, Snyder. The differences were astounding. If he acquired Vanguard, there was already a well respected yet poorly managed art department. Apparently the contracts were up on several high-end clients and if wooed by fresh ideas, they might be persuaded to resign. Vanguard had the chance to become one of the elite in Pittsburgh, while Snyder would have to fight through the overly saturated market in New York to thrive.   
He had no reason to hide anymore and once he realized that simple fact, Brian’s decision was crystal clear. New York had never lived up to his expectations no matter how much he convinced himself he was happy. Brian quickly speed dialed his trusted friend and employee.

“Cyn, it’s me. I got your email. So what are your thoughts?”

“Professionally or personally?”

“Both,” Brian stated matter of factly.

Cynthia took a deep breath and started to speak.

“Well, I’m not blind for starters. Vanguard is a premier agency just waiting to be picked up by the right brilliant mind. It’s a fixer upper but that’s only because the current owner doesn’t know shit about today’s market. The artists are being wasted on mediocre ideas, when they could be creating cutting edge campaigns. Locally based companies want to find a good agency in their own backyard but feel they won’t get the same quality. Vanguard could be that place. Snyder on the other hand has more accessibility to big business but competition if fierce. We’d need to find a new team of artists as well. It’s in a good location and not far from my apartment.”

Brian laughed.

“And Vanguard would be one hell of a commute so what are your thoughts personally?”

Cynthia paused for a moment, weighing her options and taking a good look at her life in New York.

“I miss my mom so moving back to Pittsburgh wouldn’t be so bad. I’m not involved with anyone right now and I just heard my high school sweetheart is in the midst of a divorce so I say we do it. Brian lets go back home.”

“You got it. I’ll call you tomorrow to start working out the details. It’s Sunday, go enjoy it.”

“Sure thing Boss,” Cynthia replied and hung up the phone. Brian felt an enormous sense of relief having finally made a decision regarding his new agency. He couldn’t wait to be on his own and take this city by storm. He refused to let himself think about any other reasons he should be happy living in Pittsburgh again.

Michael had gone to check in on Mel and Linds but Justin had wanted to see his son first. He looked in on all the little babies and prayed that they would be going home to good families. It was such a cruel twist of fate that you could be born into a bad situation. Brian and Claire had been unlucky enough to know first hand. Justin had been given a taste of the good life and then it was snatched away. They say that sometimes going through hell as a child can shape you into a better person. Somehow you can rise above it. He wondered if that could happen to him and Brian.   
His eyes caught on the name “Gus Peterson Taylor” and unshed tears flooded his eyes. He had no idea the little boy would be given his name. While some of the other babies cried, Gus lay quietly and stared up at the multi-colored mobile.

“Think it’s his artist’s eye that’s taking in the different colors?” Linds startled him from behind.

“Maybe, what made you decide to make him a Taylor?”

“Because he’s your son and he should be proud of that. Mel didn’t approve at first but that’s not too shocking. I think it’s wonderful you always kept your name and I want our son to have that too. He’ll always be connected to you, no matter what part you’d like to play in his life.”

“Thanks Linds,” Justin said softly and enveloped her in a warm embrace. They held each other for a while, just taking comfort in each other’s arms. When they pulled away, Lindsey looked deeply into Justin’s eyes and saw something unfamiliar there.

“That’s not the only thing that’s got you all choked up is it? I’m listening.”

Justin shook his head and returned his gaze to his beautiful baby boy.

“Is it Brian?” Lindsey asked hesitantly. Justin whipped around to deny it but nodded his head instead.


	8. Left Behind

Notes: This is kinda my transitional chapter so it's a little shorter. I'm just setting some stuff up:)

* * *

Justin didn’t know how to answer Lindsey when she asked about Brian. He was completely ready to lie through his teeth but found himself nodding his head instead. The can of worms was now open and he had no idea how to get out of one of Lindsey’s favorite touchy feely conversations. From the moment Lindsey had met the rebellious teenager it had been her goal to educate him on the finer things in life and open up his heart to the possibility of love. She thought that it would not only help him emotionally but also artistically as well. Unlucky for Justin, her methods involved way too much talking and an overabundance of “together time”. Justin had been so happy to finally get his license and have a means to escape her heartfelt talks.

“Linds, you just gotta trust me when I say this is something I have to deal with on my own. No amount of hugs or inspirational phrases will make my life any easier right now.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“Jesus Lindsey, do you not get the hint? Of course, I love Brian. At one point in my life we were very close. Hell, we’re a part of the same family.”

“I don’t mean love like the way you feel about Mikey. I mean the type of love you used to sketch about.”

“I don’t do that anymore,” Justin said defensively. Lindsey was the only one he had shown his series of sketches depicting romantic love. It was not exactly something he wanted to share with the masses of Liberty Ave. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in love. He just figured it wasn’t an emotion he would ever experience with one person in particular so there was no point in thinking about it. The sketches had happened one night after he had gone out drinking with Mikey and his current flame. They had been all over each other all night and it was the first time he had ever wanted that too. The reaction felt completely out of character to him but he had never fit into one category as much as everyone wanted him to. Linds and Daph understood and now he had the strange suspicion that Brian would too.  
Justin sat down heavily in one of the chairs just outside the nursery. Lindsey took the seat next to him and gently held his hand. They both remained silent for a little while, just enjoying their closeness. It always amazed Lindsey when she heard other people’s perceptions of Justin. He may be the King Stud of Liberty Ave but he was still just a man who felt deeply and had unknowingly been looking for love his entire life. It was ironic that he seemed to have found it with the man who at one point was like a brother to him. Now they were practically strangers but Lindsey wouldn’t be surprised if that changed in the very near future. If only they both let it.

“You have a big heart Justin, no matter how hard you try to hide it. I feel blessed that our son is going to be the one to benefit from it. So just cut the bull and stop pretending you’re some heartless shit. This is me you’re talking to, remember?”

“Whatever possessed me to become friends with a muncher is beyond me.”

“Better I like pussy than you.”

“So true,” Justin laughed, finally getting himself to relax a bit.

“Linds, would it be OK if I went in there and just held Gus for a little bit?” Justin asked shyly.

“Sure thing, I’m just gonna lay down up in my room. Make sure you come up to say good-bye before you go.”

“Thanks. I will,” Justin responded and approached the glass. Lindsey watched him walk into the room and reach down to pick up Gus. He cradled the baby tightly to his chest, supporting his head in the crook of his arm. As much as Lindsey wanted to stay and spy on the two, she decided it would be best to allow Justin some time alone to bond with his son.  
Justin was absolutely exhausted and happy to take a seat in one of the rocking chairs nearby. He rocked gently, lightly caressing Gus’ soft rosy cheek with his fingertips. 

“Hey little Gus Man, do you think your mom is right? Cause I know there are a lot of men on this planet and I’m not sure if it’s fair for you to end up with me as your dad. Maybe Mikey would have been a better choice. You really have your mom to thank for putting you in this situation. When she gets a thought in her head, it’s impossible to shake her. So you better watch out when you’re older, especially if she starts pushing any of that straight shit on you.”

Gus slept peacefully, his tiny chest going up and down as he breathed deeply. Justin continued to stare, allowing the easy rhythm to lull him to a much-needed sleep.

Once Brian’s decision had been made, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Although he would have to wait for a bid to be accepted at Vanguard, Brian was already planning his great return. His good-byes in New York would be mostly insignificant acquaintances, and a few tricks that garnered repeats when Brian was too tired to go out looking for fresh meat. He’d miss the clubs and living life in the fast lane but it might be nice to actually have someone worth talking to on a regular basis.  
Brian suddenly felt the need to reacquaint himself with his hometown and jumped into his rental car for a drive. He had no destination in mind when he left the hotel, only the desire to feel at home again. The word was foreign to his own tongue and when he suddenly arrived at the hospital, the meaning became a little clearer. It had been a few hours since Justin dropped him off so Brian assumed he would be long gone. Brian just wanted to see his nephew again and begin to understand why Gus had affected him so much the night he was born. Never before had Brian even wanted to look at a baby, much as less be in contact with one. But for some reason he was drawn to the little blonde that was practically identical to his father at that age.  
Brian approached the maternity ward and was shocked to see Justin sleeping peacefully with his son. The resemblance between the two was unmistakable. Gus’ eyes were wide open as he gazed up at his father. Instead of crying, he seemed content to just lie still and listen to Justin’s steady heartbeat. Brian was about to ease his way through the door when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a smiling Daphne behind him. 

“Hey Brian, I’m surprised to see you here. Mikey mentioned you were there for the birth but I never actually expected you to come back for a repeat visit.”

Brian shrugged, “Why not? It doesn’t fit the image you had all picked out for me?”

“Actually no, it doesn’t. I’ll admit I don’t know you very well. I’m not sure I ever did but I do know Justin. He’s one of the most wonderfully complex people you will ever meet. I wouldn’t trade a single trait. That doesn’t mean I don’t know all his flaws. Those flaws I know so well? You’ve got them too. That baby exists because of Lindsey’s perseverance and Justin’s affection for alcohol. Which brings me back to my original question. Why are you here?”

Brian stood staring at her a moment before he responded. How can you answer a question you can’t figure out yourself?

“Honestly Daph, I got in my rental car and this is where I ended up. I had no idea Justin would still be here.”

“What?” Daphne asked and finally approached the window to look in. Her breath caught at the sight of Justin portraying the doting dad. There was an innocence about him as he slept that she hadn’t seen in years.

“How long has he been in there?”

“Don’t know, just got here myself.”

“I promised Linds I’d come right back so I better get going. You should wake him soon. He promised Claire he’d go over to her house for dinner tonight. She practically begged him last week and he’s been dreading it ever since. Duty calls and he’s never been the type to go back on his word.”

“Fuck Claire. She doesn’t deserve his loyalty.”

“We’re all in agreement on that.”

“Maybe I’ll tag along and supervise. Make sure my frigid sister doesn’t rope him into taking care of her two spoiled brats. I’ve hardly said hello to the both of them and can already tell they’re trouble. I think Justin’s smart to keep them all away from Gus.”

“You won’t get any arguments out of me. Have a good night Brian and thanks for checking up on Justin and Gus.”

“Hey, that’s what uncle’s do.”

“It’s good to know you’re taking that job seriously. That little boy needs all the sane family he can get,” Daphne laughed and disappeared with a wave.

Brian approached the door one more time and darted in before anyone else could stop him. He crept silently up to the rocking chair and kneeled down in front of it. Cautiously Brian lifted his hand and cupped the left side of Justin’s face. His thumb lightly stroked the area, feeling the soft blonde whiskers. Peering down into Gus’s miniature face, Brian was mesmerized by the deep pools of blue. He couldn’t believe all of the strange emotions coursing through his body and was too distracted to notice when Justin opened his eyes. Justin’s eyes blinked a few times to clear his vision.

“Bri?” he asked softly. 

Brian’s eyes immediately locked with Justin’s and held for a moment. Before he could really analyze his feelings, Justin’s free hand was at the back of his neck and pulling his head down to meet Justin’s raspberry lips. The kiss started light and soft but grew more demanding as both men gave into the moment. Brian’s teeth lightly grazed Justin’s lower lip, causing him to open his mouth to Brian’s assault. Their tongues dueled passionately until Justin could no longer breath. He pulled back startled by the heat between them and the wiggling little body in his arms. Both men breathed heavily as they tried to regain their control.

“Shit Sunshine, I’m sorry. I guess I got a little carried away. You OK Sonny boy?” Brian asked, leaning down to look into the baby’s face.

Justin couldn’t help but laugh when he heard the endearment. Jack Kinney had made both of their lives a living hell but they were still his sonny boy’s. It was nice to hear the word said with affection for once. Shaking his head to get back into the present, Justin looked up at Brian curiously.

“Why are you here?”

“That seems to be a popular question for today.”

“Originality can be over rated.”

“How about we discuss it on our way over to our wicked sister’s house?”

“Shit, I completely forgot! Wait, did you just say you were coming?”

“Can’t get anything by you Sunshine. Now hurry up and put Gus down before I change my mind.”

Justin immediately complied, taking an extra moment to spread a soft blue blanket over his tiny body. Grabbing his coat, Justin couldn’t help but wonder how smart it was to be spending so much time with Brian. The man was quickly becoming a part of almost all aspects of his life. At least tonight he would have someone else on his side. It felt like he was a kid again, the two of them against the world. 

“I’m ready Bri, let’s go.”


	9. Left Behind

Both men were silent in the car on the way to Claire’s house, each anticipating what the evening would hold. Brian hadn’t seen her since the funeral and doubted the reception would be any warmer. Justin, on the other hand, was afraid he’d be guilted into another Sunday morning at church with his mother or worse. Over the years Claire had always come up with some inexplicable reason why he was the only one who could make Joan Kinney truly happy. More often than not Justin had given in to save himself the lecture but not tonight. Brian didn’t seem like the type that would fall for intimidation, especially from the sister he could never stomach. They would stand united and the thought alone brought a smile to his face.

“What’s got you so chipper? Did you forget where we’re going?”

Justin chuckled, not expecting to be caught.

“Nope, just happy that I’m not going alone. You have no idea what type of crap our nephews put me through every time I see them. They make the word ‘uncle’ a dirty word.”

“Well I don’t plan on being Uncle Brian to anyone but Gus. They’ve done fine up until this point without me in their lives so why change a good thing?” Brian questioned.

The statement shocked Justin. He had no idea Brian was really serious about being a part of his and Gus’ lives. He figured Brian would take care of all family obligations in one swoop and then move on. 

“If you plan on being Uncle Brian to Gus then you better start buying presents now. His father can’t afford to properly spoil him right now and would love assistance in that endeavor.”

“I have no problem with that. Although don’t expect to see me at any little league games or PTA meetings.”

Justin was having difficulty picturing Brian on the sidelines waving a foam hand and a pom pom. Then again the thought of Brian being around next week was already a unique prospect. As the car pulled into Claire’s driveway, Justin swore under his breath at the black Volkswagen in front of him.

“What is it?” Brian asked.

“It seems you’re not the only surprise guest for dinner this evening. Fucking bitch wanted to catch me off guard,” Justin complained.

“What do you mean?”

“The car in front of ours. It’s mom’s.”

“Shit!”

“Exactly.”

They slowly approached the door, both wishing they could just get back in the car and leave. Brian was about to suggest they do exactly that when the door opened.

“Justin, you’re late! I was about to…shit Brian, what are you doing here?” Claire asked in shock.

“Justin told me where he was going and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to have dinner with you and your beautiful children,” Brian responded.

“Whatever, just get in the house. Mom’s been complaining about being hungry for the last hour.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Brian quipped.

The boys followed Claire inside, Justin going first. As he entered the kitchen, Joan called his name and then nodded in Brian’s direction.

“Hello Mother,” Brian greeted and took a seat on a bar seat at the kitchen island. Justin sat down beside him, avoiding Joan’s probing stare.

A silence fell across the room, until two boys ran in and managed to barely avoid knocking over a dining room chair.

“What have I told you boys about running in house. Now show some manners and same hello to your uncles,” Claire chastised.

“Hi Uncle Justin,” the boys said solemnly, avoiding all eye contact with everyone in the room.

“Aren’t you going to say hello to your Uncle Brian too?”

“Awwww Mom, we don’t even know him. Before Grandpa’s death we didn’t even know he existed. At least Uncle Justin gives us presents,” John griped.

“See how popular I am?” Justin chuckled to Brian. Over the years Justin had come to appreciate the things money could buy, even though he didn’t have much himself. A well-placed gift here and there was the best way to avoid prolonged contact with his hell raising nephews. When they were still toddlers he had tried to form some sort of a relationship with both of them. He figured they deserved a better childhood than every other Kinney. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to be around enough to influence their behavior and Claire’s sterling example had been a more dominating presence. So they became spoiled brats and Justin avoided them like the plague.

“John, don’t make me say it twice,” Claire warned.

John and Peter gave a quick hello and immediately headed out the backdoor to play in the yard. Brian and Joan went to sit in the dining room while Justin helped Claire serve the food. It wasn’t long before all four of them were seated and eating the dried up meat and soggy vegetables Claire was known for preparing. Joan made sure to mention it repeatedly over the course of the meal. Over coffee, conversation finally picked up and not in the way either man had hoped.

“So Brian, when are you leaving town?”

“Trying to get rid of me already, Mother?”

“You’ve done your duty. I don’t expect you to stay in town and hold our hands.”

“What if I wanted to stay in town,” Brian interjected.

Everyone at the table, including Justin, gasped in surprise.

“You might be staying?” Justin asked.

“Might be? It’s almost a done deal. I put a bid down on an agency and expect it to be accepted within the week.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Justin asked in shock.

Brian realized his mistake immediately but hadn’t planned on making the announcement until it was definite and he had a little more time with Justin. His mother always managed to get to him and he had jumped to goad her without thinking about the consequences.

“Sorry Sunshine, I wanted to wait until the bid was accepted and the paperwork signed. I planned on telling you when we were one on one in private.”

“Why are you staying at all Brian? You could just go back to your fancy life in New York. I’m sure you have some hot shot apartment where you can conduct your disgusting lifestyle,” Joan interjected.

“Mom, that’s not fair…” Justin tried to say.

“Not fair? You have no idea what kind of man Brian is. All I’ve ever wanted to do is to protect you from his influence. Your father sent him away for a reason.”

“My father died when I was two years old so let’s not make Jack’s place in my life more significant than it was.”

“Justin, that’s uncalled for,” Claire lectured.

“You’re just pissed that he’s no longer a little puppy that you can order around. You have used Justin as your emotional punch bag for the last time. I’m back in town for good and I won’t let either you continue to berate him. He’s a man now, which means he doesn’t have to come over here just because you want him to. And neither do I. Take care of disciplining your own children and we’ll look out for each other,” Brian roared.

“You stay away from Justin. He’s not like you,” Joan warned.

“Like hell he isn’t,” Brian snapped.

“Brian!” Justin cried out in shock.

“Shit, Justin I…”Brian began to explain but Justin was already hurrying out the door. Justin had avoided his family as much as possible during his life, figuring none of them had the right to know the “real” him. He had never intended on outing himself and was not appreciative of Brian’s choice to do it for him. Brian remained behind to say a few more words to his mother and Claire. His eyes shot daggers at both of them.

“Tonight, I draw the line. I would have never left Justin behind if I knew what he would be dealing with on a regular basis. He’s a good man but you both should be aware of that already. He’s all the family I need so I won’t be coming here again. I leave it up to Justin to decide what he wants.”

“Is he..?” Joan asked.

“Not my question to answer,” Brian replied and walked out the door, leaving behind two women in shock.

Justin was pacing outside by the car when Brian appeared. He refused to look Brian in the eye and jumped into the passenger seat of the rental car. Brian slowly walked around to the driver’s seat and took his time getting in. Once they were both inside, Brian put his keys in the ignition and just sat there. Justin looked over in agitation.

“Come on, let’s go,” he said forcefully.

“No,” Brian responded.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because you still have to tell me what’s got your undies in a bunch. Why doesn’t mother dearest know you’re a fag?”

“Because it’s none of her fucking business Brian. As I recall, the only reason you came out of the closet was Jack’s little accidental discovery. From the moment you walked out of that house I’ve been on my own. I participate in these arranged family gatherings so there aren’t any unwelcome surprises when I’m at home. They know nothing about my life and that’s the way I wanted to keep it. Now they’re going to be looking in on me and trying to find out more about my life. How long do you think it will be before they find out about Gus? Goddamn it Brian, that’s the last thing I want. Gus is a Taylor, not a Kinney.”

Brian had no clue how to respond. Everything Justin said was true and he hadn’t even considered it when he opened his big mouth. He let his pride speak for him and now Justin’s whole life would be up for scrutiny.

“Justin, I’m sorry..”

“Just save it Bri and take me home.”

“But..”

“Not now, just take me home and we’ll talk tomorrow. I think I’ve had enough talking for tonight.”

Brian nodded and prepared himself for one more drive filled with silence. This was becoming a habit with them and it wasn’t one he particularly enjoyed. When he pulled up to Justin’s apartment building, the blonde wasted no time exiting the vehicle. Before Brian could say a word, Justin was gone with a backwards wave. Brian remained on the street, contemplating what he should do next. Justin obviously needed some time to cool down but was that all he needed? There was only one person who could answer that. Brian turned the ignition and sped off down the street.  
He pulled his car over and approached the brick apartment building with trepidation. He wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing but he had to try something. He hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door. Shuffling from foot to foot, he wondered again if he should just go back to New York and forget about Justin. The door opened and the man stared at Brian in shock.

“What are you doing here?”

“I need your help,” Brian explained.

“Brian, I…”

“I know. I may not be your best friend anymore but you’re still mine. Will you help me Mikey?”

Michael hesitated for a couple seconds and then motioned Brian inside.

“Come on in. What the hell did you do now?”


	10. Left Behind

Michael grabbed a couple of beers and showed him into the living room. Ben was at the library researching something for his next novel, so the two men were alone in the apartment. Michael handed Brian his beer and sat down in his easy chair, waiting for Brian to speak. When Brian remained standing and didn’t seem to be making any effort to explain himself, Michael got impatient.

“Damn it Brian, just say it! Couldn’t find any hot tricks at Babylon? Did you misplace your gold card? What the fuck is it?”

“It’s Justin, OK?” Brian said exasperated.

“What about Justin? If you got him involved in one of your crazy schemes I swear to god I’ll…”

“It’s nothing like that. And all my schemes aren’t crazy. I seem to recall a few worked in our favor or don’t you remember? Anyway, Justin is safe and sound at home,” Brian cut in.

“Then what is it?”

“I kinda outted him to Joanie and Claire tonight.”

“You did what?” Michael yelled.

“I inferred that Justin may be gay at dinner over at Claire’s. It’s not like I meant to do it. She was just so condescending and I couldn’t take it anymore so when she suggested Justin wasn’t like me.”

“You took it upon yourself to set her straight.” Brian glared in Michael’s direction. “Sorry, poor choice of words. Jesus Bri, did you even stop to think about what kind of damage you could cause Justin before you opened your big fat mouth? He’s not out to them for a reason and it’s not because he needs their acceptance. He just doesn’t need their shit either. Every couple of months he sits through one family dinner and then its back to life as a happy fag. Now he’ll have Joan praying for his soul and Claire preaching to her boys about how immoral their Uncle Justin is. You’ve been here one week and already you’re back to controlling everybody’s lives,” Michael complained.

“What are you talking about Mikey?” Brian questioned, surprised by the sudden change of topic. Michael sighed heavily and looked Brian directly in the eyes. Brian figured now was a good time to sit down and got comfortable on the couch, across from Michael.

“I have always loved you but I realize now that the friendship we had before you left wasn’t particularly healthy for either of us. You were the boss, the one in charge of everything, especially Justin. He emulated you, hell we both did. All I wanted was to be worthy of being your best friend.”

“You were more than worthy.”

“That’s because I bent and twisted myself around until I could be what you wanted. By the time you left I had convinced myself that I could be another king stud just like you. But then you were gone and I had nothing.”

“Mikey, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s OK because without meaning to you did leave me something. You left me Justin who let me be whoever I wanted and I have you to thank for that. Ironically he became the King of Liberty Ave too. Justin made me realize that none of my changes would have made you want me and the real me was the reason we became friends to begin with. I don’t know who I would have become if you hadn’t left.”

“Then I guess it all worked out for you,” Brian admitted.

“Maybe, but what about you?” Michael asked, concerned.

“I don’t know Mikey. I guess that’s why I’m here. In the past eleven years you must have pissed Justin off at least once.”

“Oh yeah,” Michael chuckled.

“So how did you fix it and make him understand why you fucked up?”

“There’s no easy answer to that question when you’re talking about Justin Taylor. He doesn’t believe in apologies and he doesn’t understand betrayal. He’s a straight shooter who will accept nothing but the truth, as long as you’re a part of his inner sanctum.”

“So what, I’m fucked? Time to pack up and go home?”

Michael shook his head and chuckled.

“Not yet. All I’m saying is that you have a little more consideration for the life Justin has made for himself. You’re a part of that now and it’s up to him to decide how big a part. And that of course also depends on what you’re looking for, which I’d love to hear personally. When are you leaving town?”

“God, it’s like everyone’s trying to get rid of me. Well hold off on the bon voyage party cause I’m sticking around indefinitely. I put a bid out on an agency and plan on settling down here.”

Michael couldn’t keep the look of shock off of his face.

“Does Justin know?”

“Yup, told him tonight at dinner. And before you start lecturing again I had planned on telling him in private but things happened. So, are you going to help me or not?”

“Don’t know. Are you going to tell me what your interest in Justin is really about or not?”

Brian smirked, amused by Michael’s attempt to get the upper hand. This certainly was a new Mikey and he liked it.

“I can’t answer that question yet but there is something about Justin that I’m attracted to. I’m not quite sure what it means. I just don’t want to hurt him anymore,” Brian explained as honestly as he could.

“Well then I guess I’ll have to take your word for it but I have a really big boyfriend if you fuck it up.”

“So what’s the plan?” Brian asked, getting down to business.

Meanwhile Justin had barricaded himself in his room, attempting to shut out the world. The phone was ringing nonstop and he could hear the hysterical voices of Joan and Claire coming out of the answering machine. Using his pillow to block out the noise, Justin lay quietly on his bed. His solitude was interrupted by the opening and closing of the door. Emmett knocked lightly on the door before entering the room.

“Sweetie, what’s going on? There are at least half a dozen messages from your mom and Claire and none of them make any sense. Come on, what could you have possibly done to bring about the wrath of god and the disappointment of anyone you have ever known? Did you forget to brush your teeth?” Emmett giggled, hoping to lighten the mood and Justin couldn’t help joining in for a moment of levity. His neatly ordered world had blown up in his face tonight, but there was no changing it now.

“Oh, I only broke all of her hetero fantasies by following the sinful path blazed by her first born son!” Justin exclaimed.

“You came out? Whatever happened to ‘it’s none of her fucking business’?” Emmett asked in shock. Justin had always been adamant about keeping his personal life away from his family. After meeting the She-Devil once, Emmett had agreed wholeheartedly. 

“Oh, it wasn’t my idea. Brian stepped in to defend my honor and instead of helping, let’s just say he made it worse,” Justin explained.

“Since you’re home alone, I’m assuming you acted the part of the perfect drama princess and hightailed it out of the situation.”

“Well yeah, was I supposed to stick around and thank him for ruining my life?”

Emmett let out a loud laugh. Justin glared back.

“Oh Princess, your life is not ruined and Brian didn’t mean to hurt you. But it could get worse if you choose to shut him out now. It’s not like you ever had the perfect family and you accepted that a long time ago. So now the phone will ring a couple more times a day. Big deal! We’ll get caller ID and life will go on. Now get your ass out of bed and get dressed. We’re going to Babylon and that’s final.”

Emmett’s tone of voice meant business, so Justin slowly crawled out of bed and began to examine the contents of his closet. He had barely gotten started when Emmett left the room calling out behind him, “And wear the black leather.” Grabbing it from the hanger, Justin went to start the shower. God, he hated it when Emmett got all bossy and masculine. 

As Michael put down the phone, he looked over in Brian’s direction.

“It’s your lucky day. Get dressed, we’re going to Babylon,” Michael stated.

“Fuck Mikey, any other night. I’m not in the mood to go tricking, as shocking as that may seem.”

“Well that’s a good thing because I’d seriously have to kill you if that’s the term you used to describe Justin.”

“Justin? Will he be there?”

“That’s what Emmett just said. Now hurry up, we have one stop to make first.”

Brian jumped off the couch, surprised by his good fortune. He was ready to go minutes later and looking incredibly sexy in his tight worn jeans. Michael shook his head, thinking some things never change. He then looked over at a photo of him and Ben together and smiled knowing some things did.

The bouncer only gave Justin and Emmett a cursory glance before motioning them in. The music pumped through Justin’s body and he was already starting to feel better. Emmett knew exactly what he was doing when he insisted they come here. Justin was basically a kid when he first walked through these doors but even then it had the same effect on him. There a sense of escape and the chance to be whoever he wanted. Out there on the dance floor, he was Justin Taylor and that was it. No need to worry about his finances, his abusive home life, the disappearing brother, or his studies. So many years later and it still held that sense of freedom.  
Emmett and Justin through back a couple of shots immediately and headed to the dance floor. While Justin got lost in the music, Emmett kept his eyes open for Michael’s arrival. He hadn’t told Justin who Michael would be bringing with him but thought that was the only safe thing to do, under the circumstances.

Brian immediately scanned both the bar and dance floor for the familiar blonde head. He had never been known to go after someone but he knew when he was wrong and this was one of those times. Mikey didn’t even have to tell him about Justin’s little excursion tonight and he was appreciative he had. It had been nice to just sit down and talk to the other man. It was one of the things he had missed most while he was gone. They would never be as close as they were and that was all right. Justin was most likely a better friend than he could ever be. They deserved one another.  
Michael was the first to notice his two friends and gently shoved Brian in their direction. Brian followed his gaze and walked straight for them, without another word. His hand was clutched around a small paper bag that he held in a death grip. Once Brian was directly behind Justin, he leaned in to whisper softly in his ear. 

“I have something for you.”

Justin whipped around in shock, practically knocking Brian off his feet with the swing of his arms. Brian stumbled a tad before settling back on his feet.

“Shit Bri, I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Justin smiled, eyeing the paper bag.

“Whatcha got there?”

“Why don’t you open it up and see for yourself,” Brian said with a smirk.

Opening the bag, Justin couldn’t stop the giggles from erupting when he took out one of the lemon bars. Taking a big bite, his eyes twinkled as he looked into Brian’s warm hazel ones.

“Why thank you Brian. How did you know I prefer lemon bars to silly sentiments and flowers?”

“Mikey said he used to give you a box full of them every time he did something stupid.”

“That’s true he did…when I was twelve.”

Justin continued to laugh, as both men looked over Brian’s shoulder at Michael’s innocent smile. He shrugged, happy to see his mission for the night had been accomplished. Justin could be hell on wheels when he was pissed but he was also the type of person that enjoyed the simple things in life. He had always been ruled by his stomach and had rather frequent cravings for lemon bars. It was the easiest way to appease him before he discovered dick. Michael felt good seeing his two best friends happy again, at least for now. He could see a relationship brewing between them and with two men as relationship challenged as those two; it was going to be an uphill battle. A boisterous Emmett interrupted his thoughts.

“Well there you are Baby. I was about to put our poor little princess down if he bitched one more time about the injustices in the world.”

“Don’t think he wouldn’t go down without a fight. So how bad do you think the damage is with the Kinney women?”

Emmett made a face like he was sucking a lemon.

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised if a priest showed up this week to perform an exorcism.”

“Shit, if it was that easy Babylon would be out of business.”

Both men laughed and turned to watch the floor show Justin and Brian were starting to create. They had stopped talking and had taken to grinding up against each other. Justin was touched that Brian would go to his best friend and take his adolescent advice on how to get back into Justin’s good graces. It was better than any apology he could have received. Brian had only wanted to talk to Justin but somehow they had ended up in each other’s arms and there was nowhere else he wanted to be at that moment. Justin had very little to drink but felt light headed from the contact. The closer their bodies got, the more he wanted. Justin’s hips swung seductively back and forth, rubbing their groans enticingly together.  
All thoughts of the prior events of the evening disappeared as their eyes locked on one another. Justin felt the heat of the gaze all over his body and unconsciously leaned forward. Brian felt drawn in as well and bent down to touch his lips softly to Justin’s. The gentle caress sent waves of pleasure down Justin’s spine. Brian’s hands gripped his waist, pulling him in even closer. While Justin’s nimble fingers brushed through Brian’s hair.

“Bri, what are we doing?” Justin gasped as he pulled away.

“I don’t know. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, but I don’t want to do it here. Not with you. How about I take Michael and Emmett home and then meet you back at your hotel room?”

Justin appreciated his friends’ manipulations and didn’t want to leave them stranded. Plus he felt it might a good idea to get a little distance before he passed the point of no return.

“OK, just don’t be too long,” Brian said and gave one last lingering kiss. Justin’s pants became uncomfortably tight from the simple gesture. The moment Brian disappeared, Justin ran to grab the boys. He yanked them both by the arms.

“Time for good little boys to go home. I’ve got plans tonight.”

Emmett and Michael nodded their heads in understanding and immediately headed for the door.


	11. Left Behind

Too much time between chapters for me so I made a small error when describing the love scene and made a few minor tweeks:)

Chapt 11

 

Justin knew exactly what he was doing until he knocked on the door to Brian’s hotel room. All of a sudden he was in a world of doubt. The moment he walked through that door, there was no turning back. A couple of weeks ago Brian Kinney was safely put away in the back of his mind and only visited on holidays and special occasions. Now it seemed like the man was everywhere and running through his mind 24-7. He just wasn’t sure if it was wise to cross that line between friends and more. Neither man was a big fan of relationships and a one-night stand would most likely disrupt the tenuous friendship they were building. But Justin still found himself knocking on Brian’s door and anticipating the night ahead. When Brian opened the door, he was bare-chested with only his jeans remaining. All thoughts of resistance were out the window and replaced by a healthy growing erection.

“You took too long. I was about ready to go over to Mikey’s and drag your ass over here.”

“Dressed like that?”

“It was my bargaining chip if you tried to say no.”

“Well that’s not what I’m gonna say.”

“Then what are you going to say Sunshine?” Brian asked huskily.

“I’m ready when you are,” Justin said, opening his arms wide to Brian.

Brian hesitated for only a moment before claiming Justin’s full lips. He involuntarily moaned at the contact, heat coursing up and down his body. They both stumbled to the bed, undressing each other as they went. By the time Justin’s legs connected with the bed they were both completely naked and achingly hard.

“God, I’ve wanted this since the moment I saw you at the cemetery,” Brian gasped.

“You wanted to fuck me at Jack’s funeral?” Justin chuckled.

“Yeah, but I was kinda thinking it would happen somewhere private afterwards,” Brian replied.

“Well you did, I was just drunk off my ass. I hope you didn’t lose interest by having to wait.”

“Nope, just makes this moment that much sweeter.”

Their lips connected again while Brian’s hands began to roam over every inch of Justin’s body. Justin arched into his touch, every nerve ending on fire. Each kiss became more intense than the one before until they were both desperate with need. Justin found himself unsure as to what he wanted next. He had been led by his desire for Brian and now on the verge of getting exactly what he wanted, Justin wasn’t sure he could give up the control. There was no question Brian was a big beefy top and Justin hadn’t bottomed in quite some time. Even French kissing had been a power struggle as their tongues battled aggressively. He had never been so turned on or empty for the feel of a cock pumping into him his entire life. The feeling both exhilarated and scared the crap out of him. He pulled back to look into Brian’s lust filled eyes.

“What?” Brian asked breathlessly.

“Nothing, I just… I want you but I haven’t, I mean I don’t…” Justin stuttered.

Brian lightly cupped Justin’s cheek with the palm of his hand.

“It’s OK, just say it.”

“I’m a top,” Justin quickly explained.

Brian nodded his head and smiled.

“Yeah, well I guess we have something in common. Come on, we’ve done this once before and you survived to tell the tale. I know the memory of it might be a little vague but it was well worth the experience. Have you bottomed for anyone else recently?”

Justin shook his head, suddenly shy. Brian seemed nervous as he started to speak. It was a side of him that Justin had never seen.

“I haven’t since I was in my teens but I guess it’s possible for me to consider it with you if,” Brian started but was cut off by Justin.

“No, I want you inside me. It’s just that last time the alcohol numbed everything, so take it easy.”

Brian reached into the pocket of his discarded jeans and grabbed the ever-present condom and lube. When he turned back to Justin, his breath caught at the sight of him laying on the bed legs spread and ready.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Brian said before he could stop himself.

Justin smiled from the praise and all of his doubts seemed to disappear. Brian crawled in-between his legs and handed him the condom.

“Go ahead, put it on me.”

Justin slid it on, enjoying the feel of Brian’s large and very hard cock on his fingertips. Brian slicked himself up and then inserted one finger at a time into Justin’s waiting hole until he was loose enough to enter. Their eyes locked on one another as Brian eased his way in, paying close attention to Justin’s facial expressions and comfort. He started to pump in slowly and increased the pace as Justin moved more forcefully against him. They continued to kiss feverishly as the passion grew. Justin fought to keep his eyes open and focused on Brian. There was a connection there that he had never experienced before. It wasn’t long before they were both panting through their orgasms.  
Brian was just slipping out of Justin when there was a knock at the door. He had ordered a bottle of wine earlier and figured it had finally arrived. Grabbing a nearby towel, Brian wrapped it around his waist before opening the door. The last person he expected to see was his mother.

“Brian, I couldn’t sleep after you boys left. I have to know what you meant about Jus..” Joan’s voice trailed off as she looked past Brian to see Justin laying half covered on the bed.

“Oh shit!” Justin squeaked, yanking the sheet around him as he sprinted for the bathroom, grabbing his clothes on the way. Brian rubbed his hand across his face tiredly and attempted to find something else to look at besides his mother.

“What is going on here?” Joan demanded.

“I think that’s a little obvious, don’t you?” Brian replied.

Justin was on the verge of hyperventilating in the bathroom. It was all just too much to take in during the course of one day. Yesterday he had a family, although a shitty one at that, and a private life that included lots of wonderful unemotional anonymous sex. Now his whole family knew his secret, his mother had first hand knowledge of said secret, and he had made love for the first time in his life. His mind and body were shutting down in a hurry and he needed to just get away from it all.

While Justin was trying to calm himself down, Brian was doing no such thing in the other room with their mother.

“There’s no way this can be happening. We sent you away. Justin was a good boy with a real future ahead of him. You’ve hardly been back more than a week and already you’ve corrupted him,” Joan accused.

Brian couldn’t help but laugh at his mother’s ignorance.

“I didn’t make Justin gay. It’s not like you can catch it from sharing a goddamn soda. He was born that way, same as me. He was just smart enough to keep his private life as far away from you as possible.”

“No, he has a girlfriend. That little black girl he’s been seeing for years.”

“Daphne? Oh please, she’s been his best friend since they were babies. He has a more romantic relationship with his right hand. It’s time you accepted the fact that you raised two gay sons and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“How can you say that? Look at the way you’re both behaving. It’s against god,” Joan insisted.

“So we had sex, big deal. It’s not like we’re really related. As far as I’m concerned we’re both orphans.”

“I’m your mother. And I’m the only mother Justin’s ever had.”

“Lucky him. I doubt if Mrs. Taylor knew the type of parents you both were she would have ever given you her only son. I envy Justin for those first two years of his life when he got to live with a real family and experience real love. I think that’s the reason he was able to open himself up to love, as he got older. Me? How am I to know something that I have never experienced myself? You can preach all you want about being our mother but the moment I walked away when I was eighteen I was on my own. If you ask Justin, I’m assuming you’ll get a similar response.”

“He never left me, not like you,” Joan cried.

“You kicked me out so let’s not change the story now. Yeah, I would have left eventually but Justin’s too good for that. He actually cares about what happens to this family. At least that makes one of us.”

Before Brian could say anything else, Justin burst into the room completely dressed. He glanced from his mother to Brian and back again. He opened his mouth to say something but faltered when the right words just couldn’t come out.

“Justin,” Joan and Brian said at the same time.

“No, no I can’t do this now. I gotta go,” Justin said in a rush and ducked past them to escape out the door. He could hear both voices continue to call his name down the hallway but he was moving on autopilot and nothing could stop him. There was only one place he knew he could go where neither his family or Brian could find him. Flipping open his cell, Justin pushed number 3 on his speed dial and waited impatiently for someone to pick up.

“Who the fuck is this?” a gruff voice asked in the receiver.

“Mel, it’s me. Put Linds on the phone.”

“Jesus Justin, she just got out of the hospital this afternoon and needs her rest. Why the fuck are you calling so late? Call Michael or Daphne or Emmett. I don’t care who but we’re going back to bed.”

“Mel, I know she’s been through a lot but I really need someplace to go and Linds always said that…”

“I know, you’re always welcome here,” Mel said finishing his sentence. She was absolutely exhausted but could sense something in Justin’s voice that was unfamiliar. He had always prided himself on being a bad ass. Tonight there was a vulnerability underneath the surface that she had never heard before.

“So is it all right if I come over?” Justin asked tentatively.

“Yeah, fine but use your key. I don’t want you waking up Gus.”

“Thanks Mel, I’m only five minutes away.”

Justin hung up, grateful that Mel had for once put aside her petty jealousy and done the right thing. Melanie gently shook Lindsey by the shoulder, whispering in her ear that it was time to wake up. A few minutes later her blue eyes popped open and focused in on her lover.

“Mel, what’s going on? Is it Gus?”

“No, it’s his daddy. Something’s up with Justin and I don’t know what but he didn’t sound good.”

Suddenly Lindsey was completely awake. Her whole body was still sore but that didn’t stop her from crawling out of bed and putting on a robe. She slowly leaned down to kiss Melanie and whispered her thanks. There may never be a time that Melanie and Justin would be friends but at least they could put aside their differences when it was really needed. Lindsey padded down the stairs and curled up on the couch to wait for Justin.

Meanwhile Brian and Joan were in a stand still.

“Mother, I think it’s time you left. Obviously Justin is no longer here so you’ll just have to settle with one lecture for the evening,” Brian stated.

“Fine, I’ll go. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow to go to church anyways. I’ll be praying for both of your souls.”

“Save your breath,” Brian hissed and opened the door, motioning Joan out. She walked out the door and turned back around to face him one more time.

“You’re both going to hell.”

“Yeah, well we’ll be sure to tell Jack you say hello,” Brian said and slammed the door in her face. Leaning back against the door, Brian took a few deep breaths and reached for his cell on the nightstand. He quickly dialed a number and listened as it went directly to voicemail.

“Hey, you’ve reached Justin. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I find the time.”

Brian waited a moment after the beep and was about to hang up when he put the phone back to his ear and said softy, “Justin, it’s me. Call me when you get this. Doesn’t matter what time.”

Flinging the phone onto the bed, Brian sat down heavily with a sigh.

“Shit Justin, where are you?”


	12. Left Behind

Two weeks past and Justin was still missing. He had made brief phone calls to Michael and Daphne letting them know he was all right but needed some time alone. Then one day while Emmett was at work he had stopped by the apartment to get some things and left a short note. Besides that no one had seen him and it had never occurred to anyone to check out Lindsey and Melanie’s house. Justin had made both girls promise to keep his secret or he would disappear where no one could find him. Melanie, of course, didn’t see that as a problem but Lindsey was adamant about him staying with them for as long as he wanted.

Justin slept in a spare room but really he spent most of his days watching his son. He wanted to memorize every detail so when he was older, he could tell Gus how much he was loved from the moment he entered the world. He wondered if his real parents had felt that way. Joan and Jack Kinney sure hadn’t for Brian and Claire. Gus looked so peaceful and untouched by the cruelties of the world. Justin wouldn’t care if Gus turned out to be gay, straight, or anything in-between. It amazed him to think that not all parents felt that way. 

Day after day Justin would sit by the crib and watch Gus sleep. After two weeks, Lindsey was getting worried and felt like it might be time to step in. Justin wasn’t making any progress with his inner demons and it was tearing her up inside to lie to all of their friends. The girls had begun avoiding the diner at known family times so they didn’t have to hear the sadness in Michael’s voice or the fear in Emmett’s when they talked about Justin. Luckily Daphne had to go back to school and got her daily reports from Michael by phone. Brian had been the only one not talking about Justin and his silence said more than anyone else’s spoken concerns.

Brian’s days went by in a blur of office plans, client conference calls, and apartment hunting. Vanguard, now named Kinnetik, had accepted all of his terms and now he was going through the long process of wooing current clients and finding the perfect team to take him to the top. Cynthia had flown in last week and the two of them had been running ragged interviewing current Vanguard employees and potential new hires. It gave Brian something to focus on besides the elusive Justin Taylor. Brian tried to mask his feelings regarding Justin’s absence but sometimes when he was alone, he couldn’t help the fear and worry from consuming him. He was in the midst of one of those moods when Cynthia walked in the door.

“Hey Boss, you in there?” Cynthia asked, after standing in the doorway for a few minutes. Brian snapped out of his daze and looked up into her eyes.

“Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about one of the accounts,” Brian lied.

“Nice try but I know that’s not it. Why don’t you just tell me what’s got you so distracted? Is it one of those people that keep on calling you? I mean, I’ve never answered so many personal calls for you in my life. You were always the recluse in New York. Now you’re Mr. Popularity. Who are all these people?”

“They’re family, OK? And no it’s not about them. Actually, they wouldn’t even be my family if it wasn’t for him.”

“Whose him?”

“Justin,” Brian said shortly and got up to walk to the window. Cynthia had figured there was some other reason Brian wanted to go back to the Pitts besides a sound investment but she never figured it to be about a guy. Men had always been just a receptacle for Brian to stick his dick in, not a reason to change his whole life.

“And what it is about this Justin that made you move back to the one place you swore you’d never return to?” Cynthia asked bewildered.

“I don’t want to talk about it so let’s just pretend I didn’t bring it up at all.”

“No way, you’ve been moping for the last two weeks and now I find out it has something to do with a guy and you expect me to drop it? Are you shitting me? Why don’t you just go and find this Justin and talk to him about whatever has been up your ass since I got here?”

“Because I don’t know where he is. Are you happy now? Just get the fuck out and do the job I pay you so well for. This subject is officially closed.”

Brian turned his back on Cynthia, dismissing her from both his thoughts and the room. It only piqued her interest more but now was not the time to get answers. Brian went to stand by the window once Cynthia had left and looked out at his view of Pittsburgh, wondering where Justin could possibly be. For all he knew, Justin might have left town for good. The way his life was going, it would almost seem fitting for Justin to leave town just when he had come back.

Melanie was out of town visiting a sick aunt when Lindsey woke to the sound of Gus crying through the baby monitor. She was reaching for her robe when the cries abruptly ended. Turning up the volume on the monitor, she could hear Justin’s soft gentle voice.

“Shhhhh Sonnyboy, Daddy’s here. No need to wake your mommy up, when I’m right here and won’t be falling asleep anytime soon. You’re lucky, you know, to have two mommies that love you so much and would do anything to make you happy. And whether Mel wants to admit it or not, you have me too. I’m not gonna abandon you. People that love you aren’t supposed to do that. They stick by you, no matter what life you choose or whom you choose to live it with. Nobody’s ever stuck around long enough to do that for your dear old dad. I know I have your mom now and Uncle Mikey and Aunt Daphne and the rest of your extended family but it’s not the same as the people who raised you, the ones who were supposed to see you through all the good and bad times. I thought your Uncle Brian was that person but then he went away and now he’s back and I’m not sure if that makes me happy or sad. How do you really let someone back into your life when they caused such turmoil the first time they left?”

Lindsey clasped her hand over her mouth, trying to hold back the sobs building up in her. All she wanted to do was comfort Justin and as strong as that desire was, she knew at this instant Gus could heal him more than she ever could. So Lindsey waited and continued to listen.

“What your Grandmother thinks shouldn’t matter but it does. I just don’t want to end up alone with only my nightly tricks to keep me company. Joan’s probably up praying for my soul right now,” Justin chuckled, “What if I go to Brian and he leaves again then what will I have? Mikey and Ben will eventually get married and have their own little family. Daph’s already halfway down the aisle herself. It won’t be long before Teddy and Emmett find a couple of queens to play house with as well. Your moms have each other. Gus, will you leave me one day too? Then all I’ll have is a mother that hates me and a sister who is afraid to let my disgusting lifestyle anywhere near her kids.”

“That’s not true,” Lindsey said from the doorway. She just couldn’t wait another second, knowing that Justin thought he was alone in the world. Justin looked up startled from the rocking chair where he was holding Gus in the crook of her arm.

“Linds, I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“No, you didn’t. I was up anyways,” she lied.

“How much did you hear?” Justin asked.

“Enough to know that you’re all wrong. You’re the one who brought together this rag tag group of friends. You’re an integral part of all of our lives, especially the little angel you’re holding in your arms. I wouldn’t have him if it wasn’t for you and you’ll always be his father. Don’t doubt your place in my heart or anyone else’s. Michael would give his life for you. When Daphne’s older she’ll be next in line asking for your sperm. Emmett would still be a retail queen if it wasn’t for your support in his catering business. You believed in him when no one did. It doesn’t matter what your mother thinks because you’ve got Deb in your corner and she loves you enough for two moms. We’re not going anywhere but that doesn’t mean you can’t open your heart up to one more person.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Brian,” Lindsey stated with certainty.

“Brian’s just a friend that manages to repeatedly fuck up my life. By now he’s probably left town anyways,” Justin replied.

“Not even close. He sealed the deal on his new advertising agency right here in Pittsburgh and has been busy setting up shop the last few weeks. He’s not going anywhere and I suspect that has something to do with you.”

“Bullshit,” Justin mumbled and got up to put Gus back in his crib. Once Justin had returned him to his crib, he exited the room and headed back to his own bed. Lindsey followed close behind.

“Justin, don’t turn your back on him when he might be your one chance of having something real and meaningful. There’s a spark in your eyes when he’s in the room. How can you not just take a chance?”

“Linds, he feels the same way about relationships as I do so what makes you think he would even want to be with me?”

“Because he’s looked like a lost puppy since you pulled your disappearing act. The man is in pain and you are the only one that can get through to him. Just think about it,” Lindsey suggested and turned to go back to her own room. She hoped that she had made some type of headway but seriously doubted it. Justin was in a dark place and it was impossible to tell when he would snap out of it.

The next day when Lindsey went to check on Justin, his bed was empty. She searched the house frantically but there was no sign of him. She was about to try his cell when she noticed the brief note on the fridge.

 

Linds,

Thanks for giving me a safe place to get my head together. Time to take a chance. I’ll see you soon and take good care of our son.

-J

Lindsey smiled, hoping that Justin would get the happiness he so richly deserved. First love was hard but so worth all of the pain. Justin would realize that soon enough, of course he would have to admit it was love first.

Justin was nervous as he walked through the large glass doors of Kinnetik Advertising. Although everything was very impressive, he could tell renovations were still underway. The receptionist’s desk was empty, but before Justin could look very far a blonde woman was walking by. She noticed Justin immediately and approached him.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m looking for Brian Kinney,” Justin responded.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No, I’m sorry I don’t. I guess if it’s a bad time I could come back later or..” Justin rambled. Cynthia couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s attempts at speech. It made the young man even more attractive.

“Don’t worry about it. Now what’s your name?” Cynthia interrupted.

“Oh sorry, Justin Taylor. I’m an old friend of Brian’s” Justin explained and reached out to shake Cynthia’s hand.

“Justin, really?” Cynthia asked in shock. She couldn’t believe this adorable young man was the one to throw the Great Brian Kinney off his game. He was hardly out of his teens and far from the muscle queens Brian usually indulged in. “Wait right here and I’ll go tell Brian you’re here,” Cynthia instructed.

Brian was in the midst of an important conference call, when Cynthia knocked and walked in without waiting for his response. He glared at her annoyed and continued to speak to the gentlemen on speakerphone. Cynthia ignored his response and walked directly up to him.

“Pardon me gentlemen, but Mr. Kinney will have to call you back momentarily. Another client has dropped by unexpectedly and it’s something that needs Mr. Kinney’s immediate attention. He’ll call you back once the situation has been resolved. Thanks for your understanding” Cynthia stated.

Several voices answered their agreement and Cynthia disconnected the call.

“What the fuck was that about?” Brian raged, standing up to tower over Cynthia’s small frame.

“I told you, you have a visitor,” Cynthia explained

“So what? Whoever it was could have waited. That was an important call.”

“And this is an important visitor.”

“Well don’t keep me in suspense. Who is it?” Brian asked, his voice still loud.

“Justin Taylor. Do you want me to tell him to go?”

For a moment, Brian was speechless. He had not expected Justin to seek him out. This morning at the diner, Justin had still been MIA and now he was just beyond a couple of doors.

“No, that’s OK. You can send him.”

“Sure thing Boss,” Cynthia replied with a smile, practically skipping out to find the young blonde.

Brian took a moment to look in the mirror and check his appearance. Every strand of hair was perfectly tussled. Three weeks later and he still had no idea what he was going to say or what he wanted, if anything at all. Before he had time to think anymore about it, there was a light rap on the door and Justin walked in, looking more beautiful than he could remember.


	13. Left Behind

Brian was stunned into silence when he locked eyes with Justin’s intense baby blues. Neither made a move or said a word for a few moments as they both took in the other’s presence. Justin could clearly see the fatigue written all over Brian’s face. The man had obviously been having trouble sleeping and Justin couldn’t help but wonder if he was at least partially the cause. Brian noticed the tenseness in Justin’s shoulders and wanted more than anything to massage out those knots. Finally gaining enough courage to step forward, Justin entered the room and made a beeline for the empty chair across from Brian’s desk. He stood behind it expectantly. Brian snapped out of his daze and invited Justin to sit down. Once they were both seated, Justin leaned forward and began to speak.

“Hi Brian. I first wanted to apologize for disappearing that night in the hotel room. I should have stayed with you to face Mom together but I panicked and just needed to get out of there. I wanted to call you and everyone else to say I was OK but I couldn’t do it. Anytime I tried to verbalize how I was feeling my throat would close up and it was impossible to speak out loud.”

“Justin, I…” Brian began before he was interrupted.

“No Bri, please let me finish or I may never get it all out. The last few weeks I’ve spent getting to know my son. Maybe I was a coward for hiding over at Lindsey’s place but after witnessing our family dynamics I wanted my relationship with Gus to start out right. He’s the one thing in this world that I haven’t managed to fuck up yet.”

“You’re not a fuck up Justin,” Brian replied.

“Yes, I am. I have an amazing group of friends that I love but I’ve never had to put my heart on the line or worry about disappointing someone. That’s not the case with Gus…or you.”

“Me?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, you. There’s no guarantee that you’ll always be here and the thought of you leaving again scares the crap out of me. It’s a really big risk.”

“What is?”

“Letting you in. Allowing myself to feel something beyond friendship or family,” Justin replied.

Brian sighed. “You’re not alone, you know. We grew up with the same loving role models,” Brian stated sarcastically.

“I know,” Justin said quietly.

“It doesn’t mean we have to grow up to be like them. Seeing you and your friends together taught me that. I want to be a part of that life, of your life and you’re right, what I feel for you is more intense than anything I have ever felt. I think it may take a little time to get used to it.”

“It’s not exactly old hat for me either,” Justin chuckled. The tenseness he felt in his shoulders was starting to lessen as the conversation continued. Brian stood up from his chair and walked over to the other side of the desk so his leg was lightly touching Justin’s. 

“I guess we figure it out together,” Brian said casually.

“I guess we do,” Justin replied and stood up. When he did his body came in full contact with Brian’s, causing the heat to rise in both of their bodies. Tentatively Brian reached out and rested the palm of his hand on Justin’s waist, who leaned into the touch. Brian’s confidence began to build as his hand slid around Justin’s back, pulling him in closer. Justin tilted his head up so he could see Brian’s eyes that were filled with longing.

“You better go before all my employees see me pull you over my desk and christen my new office.”

“Yes sir,” Justin giggled, leaning in to lightly brush his lips against Brian’s. He felt just like a teenager, which is something he never had the chance to be. Brian smiled back, enjoying the easy rapport he had with Justin. 

“Since we have so much to work out between us, how about we start tonight and go to Babylon together. We can say a quick hello to the gang and then it’ll just be you and me.”

“That sounds good but I’ve got one stop to make first and I’m hoping you’ll come with me.”

“If it involves a handful of condoms and a few tubes of lube than I’m there,” Brian replied.

“Not quite, what about a frigid bitch of a mother and a lecture on the bible?”

“Jesus Sunshine, can’t you think of a better way to spend a Friday night?” Brian said with a sigh.

“Oh yeah, but I don’t want to live my fucking life in fear of what some woman who isn’t even my real mother thinks. I’m done playing the dutiful son and I want her to know it,” Justin said in frustration.

“Fine, I’m in but after this I don’t want her to have an affect on our lives again. I haven’t needed her the last eleven years and I don’t think either of us do now.”

“Then we agree. I’ll pick you up at 8pm at your hotel,” Justin stated.

“Not at my hotel. I just closed on a loft last week. It’s on Tremont. I’ll write down the address for you,” Brian explained, grabbing for a pen and paper.

“So you really are sticking around?” Justin said astonished. Even though all signs had pointed in that direction, Justin had still thought something would come up and Brian would disappear again. Finding a place to live finally made it real, even more than the office he was standing in.

“Yes Sunshine, I am. So get used to it.”

Brian handed Justin the piece of paper, holding onto his hand a little longer than necessary. Their eyes met one more time before Justin turned to walk out the door. Brian stood watching until he disappeared from sight.

At 8pm on the dot Justin pulled up in front of the loft. He started to get out of his car, when Brian exited the door and walked over in his direction.

“Hey Sunshine, thought I’d save you the trip upstairs. That way you can be suitably impressed when I give you a tour later on tonight.”

“Sounds good to me,” Justin breathed sexily into Brian’s ear. Brian could feel his hairs stand up on end.

The drive over to Joan’s flew by and Justin was shocked to find himself suddenly facing her door. He knocked lightly, reaching out with one hand to clasp his fingers with Brian’s. The door swung open suddenly and Joan froze when she caught sight of the two figures on her doorstep. Her eyes focused in on their joined hands and she snorted with disgust.

“Why are you both here?” she asked coldly.

“Mother, I wanted to talk to you,” Justin explained, “Can I come in?”

“No, I think it’s best you two stay out here. It’s getting late and Brian made his point pretty clear a couple of weeks ago. Justin, I was hoping you would come alone and we’d be able to correct the horrible misunderstanding we had back at that hotel room. Don’t be ashamed that you were so easily influenced by Brian. It’s why we sent him away in the first place. I can get you help. Don’t you worry,” Joan assured Justin.

Justin couldn’t believe that Joan was still so blind to who he really was. Brian gently squeezed Justin’s hand in encouragement.

“Mother, I don’t need any help. I’m gay and have been since I was twelve years old. Brian didn’t influence me at all. You’re right about one thing I have no reason to be ashamed. It’s just who I am and you’re going to have to accept it. And if you don’t, then that’s fine too. Brian and I have each other and that’s really all the family I need.”

“It’s against god’s plan. What you and your brother are doing is a sin,” Joan asserted.

“He’s not my brother, he’s my lover. Don’t forget that,” Justin said harshly and turned to leave. 

“I’ll be right with you,” Brian called after him and then turned to look at Joan one more time.

“And I think that about sums it up, don’t you Mother? We’re moving on and we don’t need your approval. If you ever feel like getting off your high horse and actually having a relationship with either one of us than that’s your prerogative. But I’m not holding my breath. Until then, just stay the hell away and tell Claire to do the same. She can find herself another babysitter. Justin’s retired.”

Before Joan could utter another word, Brian was gone and making his way back to the car. It felt good to finally be free of her expectations. Justin was leaning against the car when Brian reached him. Quickly grabbing him by the back of the neck Brian pulled Justin into a hard toe-curling kiss. Both men were breathing heavily when they finally separated. Although neither glanced back, they both could feel Joan’s gaze burning into the back of their heads and it only fueled their fire.

“Get in, I think I’m in the mood for dancing,” Justin suggested. Brian nodded his head in agreement and hurried into the car. The ride over to Babylon was filled with laughter and light-hearted conversation. They were on such a high that neither man even thought of the ramifications of their actions when they entered the club holding hands and obviously amorous of one another. Justin practically skipped up to the bar, tugging Brian close behind. 

“Hey Eddie, 2 glasses of Beam, straight up,” Justin called to his favorite bartender.

“Sure thing Taylor, haven’t seen you around in a while. What the hell happened to you?”

“Family business,” Justin replied nonchalantly.

“Oh, well I hope everything’s worked out now. The boys are over at the end of the bar if you’re looking for them.”

“Maybe I will just go over and say hello. And thanks, everything worked out perfectly,” Justin replied.

Eddie noticed for the first time the tall good-looking man behind Justin and the closeness they seemed to share. Justin had never been the affectionate type, except with his best friend, Michael. He recognized the man by Justin’s side but couldn’t place his relation to the Stud of Liberty Ave. If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would of thought the two men were a couple.

“Come on Bri, let’s say the obligatory hello and then the rest of the night it’s just you and me.”

“You got it Stud,” Brian chuckled, still unaccustomed to the way the whole bar seemed to follow Justin’s every move. Although the blonde had yet to be aware of the gossip already surrounding them, Brian could hear every whisper concerning their not so veiled relationship. He wasn’t sure whether he should warn Justin or not that their handholding was causing an uproar. Not only were they blowing Justin’s reputation out of the water, but all of Brian’s headway in his own stud status was also being threatened. He knew he should care but the hand in his felt too good to let go and he was sick of living up to someone’s expectations. He suspected they both were.

Michael noticed their presence first and practically ran over Ben trying to get over to them. Once he was within reach, Michael grabbed onto Justin and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Shit Jus, you scared me half to death. I wanted to start calling hospitals until Linds told me you had been in touch with her. Don’t ever fucking do that to me again. Ma was thisclose to putting up fliers all over Liberty Ave. When did you get back? Why didn’t you call me? What are you and Brian doing here together? Did he know where you were? Because if he did and didn’t tell me than…” Michael rambled on in a hurry.

“Calm the fuck down Mikey. No, Brian did not know where I was so you can save your not so scary threats for someone else. I was at Lindsey’s this whole time and now I’m back. That’s all you need to know,” Justin explained calmly.

“But then how does Brian fit into all of this?” Michael asked.

“That’s simple, he’s my date tonight.”

“YOUR WHAT?” the boys exclaimed at once. Michael was a little suspicious but Emmett’s enthusiasm was almost contagious.

“I’m so happy for you Baby,” Emmett squealed; pulling his roommate in for a long hug, too long for Brian’s taste who found it necessary to intervene after a few moments.

“Come on Sunshine, you promised me a dance,” Brian said seductively. With his finger hooked into the front loop of Justin’s jeans, Brian began to drag him to the dance floor but Michael grabbed onto Justin’s arm before he got very far.

“Are you sure about this? Everyone here is already starting to stare. This is a pretty big statement,” Michael warned in a whisper.

“I don’t care. I want to be with Brian and maybe we won’t become your typical run of the mill couple but I can’t just let him go without a fight. Whatever I was before this night doesn’t matter. As of now I’m starting over and you can either accept the new Justin Taylor or not. It’s up to you but I don’t want to lose my best friend,” Justin said emphatically.

“You won’t,” Michael assured him, “I’ll always love you and support whatever it is you want to do, even if that includes falling in love with Brian Kinney.”

“I am not in love,” Justin denied.

“Oh yes you are, but I’ll let you figure that one out on your own,” Michael laughed at Justin, who responded with a glare. Brian, completely oblivious to the contents of their conversation, yanked Justin into his arms.

“Come on, you’re taking too long.”

Justin was lost in Brian’s gaze and allowed himself to be maneuvered onto the dance floor. Brian pulled him in close, inhaling the sweet smell of his shampoo. Their bodies moved in perfect unison, grinding their cocks together until they could hardly control themselves. Brian’s hands touched almost every part of Justin’s body, memorizing every detail. Their friends watched from the sidelines, in awe of a Justin Taylor none of them knew even existed.

“You know, everyone’s watching us. Even our friends,” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear, taking a little nibble when he was done. Justin gasped.

“Let them watch. I’m right where I want to be. Are you?” Justin asked nervously as he pulled back to look into Brian’s eyes. Brian smiled softly.

“Yeah, I just can’t believe it took me eleven years to get here.”

“That’s OK, maybe you were just waiting for me to grow up. I got better with age,” Justin assured him.

“You sure did. I’ll have to thank Joan some day for sending me away and then bringing us together.”

“Now that’s a conversation I’d love to hear,” Justin giggled. Brian joined in and wrapped his body completely around Justin’s. Joan no longer mattered, neither did the crowd watching them, all they needed was each other and once that was clear, everything else just faded to black.

* * *

I'm usually not a big sequal person but this one I may just have to revisit sometime in the future. Who knows?


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